


The Echoes They Left Behind

by monsterleadmehome



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Caretaker Rey, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Family Secrets, Fate & Destiny, Ghosts, Haunting, Hospitalization, Journalist Ben Solo, Mental Health Issues, Mental Institutions, Mystery, Nurse Kira Kenobi, Paranormal Investigators, Patient Kylo Ren, Pregnancy, Reincarnation, Sexual Assault, Skywalker Family Drama, Soulmates, Unplanned Pregnancy, background stormpilot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-10-02 07:29:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 31,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17260100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monsterleadmehome/pseuds/monsterleadmehome
Summary: In present day Takodana, upstate New York, Rey Johnson is the caretaker of the abandoned Takodana Sanatorium, a facility that used to be an asylum for the criminally insane as well as a tuberculosis ward during the epidemic. Ben Solo has been sent by First Order publications to do an article on the old asylum before it is torn down. In that same sanatorium, in the 1940s, Kira Kenobi is an idealistic nurse whose world is upended by the arrival of the dark, mysterious patient Kylo Ren. As the past and the present collide, can Rey find out the secrets the spirits of the asylum want her to know before the wrecking ball destroys it all?





	1. Takodana, New York, Present Day

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! This story originally debuted in the Reylo Charity Anthology in November. Thanks to my beta, obsessivepropulsive, for reading this whole thing through and yelling at me in the notes.
> 
> This is a lot different from anything else I've written: it's dark and depressing, but there are light moments in between and a happy ending (I promise). The title is taken from a real memorial at the [Danvers State Hospital](https://www.danversstateinsaneasylum.com/memorial), which I learned about from episode 6 of the podcast [Lore](https://www.lorepodcast.com/about/). In fact, it was during listening to this podcast that this idea came to me, so thank you Aaron Mahnke for the inspo.

The rolling hills of Takodana Sanatorium were once lush and verdant. Now they were yellowed and brown in places, overgrown with weeds in others. The whole sprawling campus was in a sad state of disrepair. In its heyday, it had been a bustling center for the sick and criminally insane. Of course, there were those that were just down on their luck and happened to get locked up there for one reason or another. Back when it was first opened in the 1840s, people could get committed for any number of things that would today be seen as normal human behavior.

It officially closed its doors in the early 1980s, but as many of the town residents could attest, many of the patients never truly left. There were many legends of creepy events and strange happenings at the old abandoned asylum. These had been either backed up or debunked by the caretaker, depending who it was at the time. The place had passed through a number of caretakers, the most recent and last one being Rey Johnson, who came to this town for college and then never left. She saw the ad in the local paper for the position the summer before her senior year. The pay was decent and the lodging was free, so she thought why not? That was nearly two years ago.

Now they were getting ready to tear it all down. Within a year or two, this place would be a resort, or apartments, something like that. However, for now and the next couple months, it was still Takodana Sanatorium, and she still had a job to do. The place had always been eery, and Rey could count her fair share of run-ins with the unexplained; but lately it seemed that the spirits had grown even more restless than usual, as if they could sense a sea change on the horizon.

She walked the grounds absentmindedly, really to stretch her legs more than anything else. There wasn’t a whole lot for her to do these days, and she could take care of her normal duties within the span of a few hours. After that, she liked to roam the campus. It was oddly beautiful in a way. She could imagine the patients and nurses bustling about, and create scenes in her mind with the refuse they left behind: medical tables, old beds with railings, abandoned children’s toys. All were fodder for her vibrant imagination. 

Rey was also expecting visitors today. Today and tomorrow, actually, making this one of her busiest weeks on record. She grinned when she heard the car pull up. Finn and Poe were regular visitors to the asylum. They were paranormal investigators with their own web series, and she was pretty sure they were also a couple. Regardless of her mood, they were always able to put a smile on her face. 

It was late afternoon as the duo filed out of their van, logging their heavy equipment up the entrance of the building. “Gentleman,” she greeted them. “Looks like you’re here in time to watch the sunset.”

Finn flashed his pearly whites at her. “Rey! So good to see you. How are you holding up? Heard they’re tearing the place down in a couple months.”

“Same old same old, you know how it is. I’m looking forward to the next chapter of my life.”

“Oh yeah and what’s that?” Poe asked. 

“No idea yet.” She laughed with the boys as she ushered them inside. 

Rey let the two of them work, setting up their static cameras that would record overnight. They had taken to staying the night their last several investigations, the best evidence always appearing well after midnight. They would show her their findings the morning after and she’d nod, making impressed noises. Rey lived with these spirits every day; she knew she wasn’t alone here. 

Once they were all set up, they came to find her. “Join us?” Finn asked. Poe was holding up a blanket and a basket. 

“A picnic?” She looked amused.

“A sunset picnic! On the hill.” Finn looked excited. 

“Sounds lovely,” she replied as she followed them outside. 

They set up on the hill behind the main building. It offered a great view of the campus and was a fine place for watching the sunset. Poe cracked open a bottle of cabernet, and Finn set some cheese, crackers, fruits, and charcuterie out before them. 

“So why do you guys keep coming back here? Haven’t you gathered enough evidence by now?”

“Nah, Rey… that’s the thing with spirits. They’re unpredictable. Sometimes we come and get nothing. Other nights, they talk up a storm. Sometimes, it’s just shadows and orbs. But it’s always an experience,” Poe said.

“Plus, you get comfortable with a place sometimes, and you just feel drawn back. We hope to come again before they tear it down,” Finn added. “And we like you.”

Rey smiled. “I like you, too. By the way, you guys ever hear of First Order publications?”

Both shook their heads in the negative. 

“They’re sending someone out here tomorrow, a Ben Solo, to do an article about the sanatorium before it’s demolished. Apparently he’s going to be here a while, so it must be a featured piece. I was just wondering what kind of magazine or journal would have such a long article about an old asylum in it.”

“No idea, but we subscribe to a number of paranormal enthusiast magazines, so it could be something like that,” Finn mused.

“It could also be for a historical journal or something similar. You never know what kind of niche thing people are into reading these days.” Poe took a sip of his wine and winked. 

“Interesting, okay. I guess I’ll just keep an open mind then.” Rey scratched her chin and tucked a lock of hair that had escaped her ponytail behind her ear. She then popped a grape into her mouth and looked out over the lawn.

They finished their picnic and watched the sunset. Then she left them to conduct their investigation and headed back to her little cottage on the east side of the campus, behind the main building. It served as the office and caretaker’s residence, leaving the other buildings free for tours year-round, not that many people came for those anymore. She slipped off her shoes and padded into the small kitchen to put a kettle on for tea. 

Once she had her tea and changed into her pajamas, she settled in front of the television for the night. If the boys needed anything, they’d call. Otherwise, she’d come back to see them off at dawn. 

 

* * *

 

The morning light filtered through the window of Rey’s small cottage just as her alarm started going off. She glared at it before reaching for the snooze button, then thought better of it, remembering that she had guests in the main building. She quickly dressed and made a cup of coffee that she poured into a travel mug so she could walk and recharge at the same time. When she reached the room where Finn and Poe had been staying, they were already packing up and chatting rather excitedly.

“Morning, Boys.”

“Morning, Rey!” They said together. Honestly, it was too early for them to be so cute. 

“We got some interesting EVPs last night,” Finn said hurrying to her side with his digital recorder. “Check this out.”

He played her a clip that had Poe asking a nondescript question, but just overlapping the end of his sentence was a voice that sounded like it said “Kira.”

“It’s definitely a man’s voice,” Rey admitted.

“Yeah, doesn’t it sound like ‘Kira?’” Finn put the recorder in his pocket.

Poe looked up from where he was sticking a camera into a bag. “Or maybe he’s Italian and he’s saying ‘lyra.’”

This made Rey laugh. “I’m sure that’s it.”

She walked them out to their van and watched them leave. The journalist wasn’t set to arrive for another few hours, so she started walking the grounds to take care of her daily duties. She wanted to be mostly done when Ben Solo showed up, so she could give him her undivided attention.

She was picking up an errant piece of debris to throw away, when a loud bang drew her to the one of the rooms. Once there, she didn’t see any people or animals, but there was a rather large chair on its side by the door. She could’ve sworn it was on the opposite side of the room the previous day. 

Shaking her head, she set back about her business. The coffee in her mug had long been drained and she was debating on making another cup when she heard the sound of tires crunching on the gravel. Suddenly Rey had a nervous energy she couldn’t quite describe. Her whole body was buzzing with anticipation. She really didn’t have a clue what to expect with this journalist, not even bothering to do a quick Google search on his company or him.

So when she saw his hulking form unfold from the driver’s side of the compact sedan, she was a little taken aback. The man was built like a refrigerator, more apt for the football field or fighting ring than the journalism realm. Maybe he was like Clark Kent and moonlighted as a superhero, only writing articles by day. That’s what she told herself as the tree of a man walked up the driveway to introduce himself.

“Hi, I’m Ben Solo, the journalist from First Order publications.” He stuck out his rather large hand and Rey shook it dutifully. He was incredibly warm, his grip firm.

“Rey Johnson, caretaker of Takodana Sanatorium.” She tried to resist the flush forming in her cheeks. Up close, she could see the soulful honey brown eyes beneath his horn-rimmed glasses. _Definitely Clark Kent material_.

“So, I don’t know if they told you much, but I also do my own photography.” He patted the DSLR camera he carried on a strap over his shoulder. “I’ll probably be out here a few times just to take pictures. Then, I’ll be wandering around a bit to get a feel for the place. I also will want to interview you, and anyone else you can think of that might have some good information on the place.”

“Okay, great! Did you want to come inside? Get started with a tour?”

“That sounds great!”

“Before we go inside, I wanted to call your attention to the front facade. Constructed in the eighteen-forties, the original gothic architecture still stands today much as it did back then.” She paused while Ben took a few snaps of the building’s impressive entrance. Turning around to indicate where the unmarked graveyard was located before they went up the steps, she accidentally collided with his very broad chest.

“Whoa, there.” Immediately his hands rushed out to steady her, catching her upper arms and latching on. She looked up into his eyes and could’ve sworn she saw him gulp.

“Sorry, I can be a bit clumsy. I was trying to show you where a lot of the patients who died here were buried, in that field over there.”

“No worries,” he said, but left his hands on her arms for longer than was really necessary, dragging down the length just a little before removing them completely. Even through her sleeves she could feel his warmth and frisson of  _ something _ pass between them. Then, he did turn his head in the direction of the potter’s field. “I’ll want to check that out later.”

“Yes, you must. The markers are mostly numbered and aren’t a great indication of how many exactly are buried there, but there is a nice memorial.” She continued up the steps leading him inside, telling herself she was imagining his gaze following her. Still, the heat crept up her spine and she turned around to see him looking straight at her intently. 

He quickly cleared his throat and looked in another direction. “You, uh, take care of this place all by yourself?”

“Yup, I’m the sole caretaker. There’s emergency maintenance crews I can call if anything severe happens, but for the most part it’s just me.”

“Seems like it might be kind of lonely,” he mused. 

“It can be, but most of the time I don’t mind being alone. I get visitors from time to time, and of course the spirits like to remind me they’re here.” He scoffed, and she turned to face him. “What, you don’t believe in ghosts, Mr. Solo?”

“Please call me Ben. And not really, just the psychological kind.”

“Well, I didn’t really used to either. Maybe some time here at the asylum will change your mind.” She winked at him, wondering where this newfound flirtatiousness came from. 

He grinned then, and her insides did a little dance. What was it about this man that affected her so? “We’ll see,” he replied. 

She finished showing him around a good chunk of the main building, at least the first floor. He frowned slightly as he took photos of the empty rooms filled with decaying furniture and detritus. The vines covering one room through a paneless window made for a beautiful picture, which he showed her on the digital screen. He got close enough that she caught a whiff of his cologne and it sent her hormones into overdrive. 

They finished up just out the back, on the east side by the old kitchens. “What’s that?” He pointed to the cottage. 

“Oh that’s the office and caretaker’s quarters. Home sweet home.”

“You live there?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow. I’d like to see it on one of the other days if that’s alright with you.”

“I think that would be fine.”

“So, Rey… they put me up in the lodge back in town. Would you have any recommendations for food?”

At the mention of food, her face lit up. “Of course! There’s lots of good places in town. There’s Tony’s for pizza, HoHo for Chinese, Maz’s is a great tavern with pub food. If you give me your number, I can text you some more.” Realizing what she just said, she flushed ever so slightly. “I mean, if that’s okay.”

He smiled. “It’s more than okay. I figured I would need to exchange numbers with you anyway.” He reached inside his pocket and withdrew his phone. 

Rey recited her number and watched as his large, nimble fingers keyed it into his contacts. It was distracting thinking about what else his fingers could do; she had to swallow and look away. A strange shadow in one of the upper windows caught her eye, but when she looked again, it was gone. She got his text and saved his number as well. “Great, so what now?”

“I thought I could walk around and take some more pictures for now? I want to get a little more used to the place before we do your interview.”

“Okay, sounds good. Do you want to roam alone?”

“Yeah, that probably would be best. I’ll come find you before I leave.”

“Just, be careful, Ben.” She put a hand on his bicep and damn, it was rock solid.  _ A journalist who lifts weights. _ This man was an enigma. “The building is old and there’s lots of debris around.”

“Sure, I’ll call if I need help.”

Rey decided to go to her favorite spot on the grounds to have a few moments to think. It was a secluded meadow in the middle of a copse of trees behind her cottage. There was a stone bench in the center, and she would sit there sometimes to read or draw when the rare occasion hit. She couldn’t say why, but something drew her there time and again. It felt familiar, like an old friend. The birds were chirping and she sat, just listening to their song. It helped after her strange heated meeting with Ben. 

It was eery just how attracted she found herself to him. It wasn’t normally like this for her. In fact, as she surveyed her past few years, she hadn’t really had any romantic entanglements since accepting the position of caretaker. She had been so focused on school her last year and then she threw herself into managing this place. Sure on occasion, Finn and Poe would invite her out, but besides that and the odd venture into town to shop, eat, or grab a drink, she hadn’t done much besides stay on the asylum campus. Maybe the demolishing of this place would be a fresh start for her after all.

It was nearly an hour later when she felt a hand on her shoulder and practically jumped out of her skin. “Ben! How did you find me?”

He looked around, noticing the secluded spot. It certainly wasn’t part of the tour she gave him. “I- I don’t know. When I was done taking pictures, I decided to look for you and just started walking this way.” He gave a short laugh. “It’s like I knew you’d be here. Weird.”

Having caught her breath, Rey gave a nervous chuckle as well. “Yeah, weird. You all set then?”

“I am. Getting kind of hungry, so I figure it’s back to town to hit up one of your recommendations before I head back to the hotel.”

“Great! I’ll walk you out. You’ll have to let me know where you go and how you like it.”

His mouth hardened into a line before he nodded and turned, leaving her to follow in his wake. _Did I say something wrong?_ she wondered as she trailed after him, noticing how well his khaki pants fit. She walked him back to the entrance before either of them said another word.

“So I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Sure, just text me and let me know when you’ll be here.”

“Okay. Well, it was lovely meeting you, Rey.” He took her hand again, briefly, before walking out. She tried to ignore how his touch burned in the best way.

 

* * *

 

A place like Takodana Sanatorium had a way of seeping into your pores. Rey knew this better than most. She had heard stories of people who had felt compelled to come back to this spot, again and again, driven by curiosity or perhaps beckoned by the spirits themselves. The complicated history between the asylum and its caretakers was on her mind as she roamed the desolate halls. Not to mention the awkwardness with Ben. She still felt like she had taken a misstep somewhere, but she didn’t know what it was. Or why she cared so much.

A flicker of light caught the corner of her eye, and Rey paused in her tracks. She had seen a lot of spooky things in her tenure here: objects moving on their own, an occasional shadow figure, but never a full on apparition. Certainly not one that looked like this. The man before her looked disarmingly like Ben, save for one major difference - the scar running down the right side of his face and neck, trailing off into what was clearly an asylum uniform. He also looked to be crying, but upon closer inspection, she realized those weren’t tears coming from his eyes but rather, drops of blood. 

She should be frightened, scream, run away; but his ethereal beauty had her rooted in place even as he advanced on her. “Kira?” he whispered, reaching out a translucent hand to touch her face. He faded into thin air just as he brushed her cheek and Rey felt nothing but the tendril of an icy breeze. She shut her eyes and took a calming breath. It wasn’t until a drop splattered on the dusty floor that she realized she was crying.


	2. Takodana, New York, 1940s

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! This chapter takes place completely in the past. Chapters will be alternating. Also I wanted to note that while the present day stuff is third person limited (all Rey's POV), the past is third person omniscient. Thanks to [obsessivepropulsive]() for the beta.

The gothic relief that was the main tower of Takodana Sanatorium loomed over Kira Kenobi as she stood outside on the front steps. Taking a deep breath, she steeled herself and prepared to go inside. Today would be her first day as a nurse at this institution. She had worked very hard for an opportunity like this, to help those less fortunate, and she took her responsibility very seriously.

Life as poor immigrants from the south side of London had not been easy on her parents when they first came to America after the Great War. Soon, they lost themselves to baser pursuits and Kira became part of the system. If it wasn’t for her foster brother, Ben, she knows not what would have become of her. In fact, she felt so indebted to him for being her rock that she took his last name as her own when she turned eighteen. It felt right, seeing as they were family. Now he was off serving in the second war between the nations, and Kira felt a kinship with him even far away as she readied herself to help those waging a different kind of battle. It was certain that he felt the same as the occasional letters would arrive, telling her of trivial things and not of the hardships of war.

The great doors creaked as they swung open, admitting her entrance into the darkened interior. This place was nearly one hundred years old by now and had seen much in its day. The tuberculosis epidemic saw these halls packed to the brim less than thirty years prior. A chill crept down her spine at the thought of all those corpses, stacked in rows because the hospital was too understaffed to handle the outbreak.

Kira clutched her modest suitcase close to her chest as she looked for the woman who was to show her around. Rose Tico, a fellow nurse at the asylum had been tasked with giving her the grand tour. From the east wing, a petite woman with jet black hair in a high ponytail bounded up to greet her. “You must be Kira Kenobi. I’m Rose Tico, it’s a pleasure to have you here at Takodana.”

“Thank you, Rose. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” She switched her suitcase to the left side so she could shake the other nurse’s hand.

“I’ll show you to the nurses’ quarters first so you can put away your things, and then we can begin the tour.”

Kira followed Rose through the seemingly endless corridors of the sanatorium. “I know it probably seems like a lot now, but you’ll get used to the layout in no time.” She watched the shorter nurse’s ponytail bob up and down as she walked. Rose knew this place like the back of her hand. 

“You certainly seem to know your way around.”

“Yes ma’am! Been here just under a year. Had the whole place memorized within a week, though. I’ve got a technical sort of mind.”

They dodged a skinny old man in the hallway, trying to disrobe. Rose tried to help him put his thin shift back on but he wriggled free of her grasp. “Unhand me, good sir, or there will be fisticuffs!”

She held her hands up in surrender and slowly walked away motioning for Kira to follow. “Most of the patients are pretty harmless, but some aren’t afraid to get physical. You need to learn how to pick your battles. That fellow goes by ‘Threepio.’ Always thinks someone’s out to get him.”

Kira nodded as she walked alongside Rose. “I just hope I can help some people.”

“Oh you will. I can tell you’re a good egg, Kira.” Rose was a good judge of character, and she felt Kira was more than up to the task.

 

* * *

 

Once Kira got the tour and settled into the room she shared with Rose, it all started to feel real. She sat on the edge of her rickety mattress and unpacked her suitcase. Mostly she just brought clothes for her free time. The facility provided uniforms for its nurses to wear on their shifts. The only personal items she had were a couple knick knacks, including the stuffed bear she had as a child. It was the only thing she had left of her parents, and it traveled to each foster home with her. It was threadbare and rather sad, but she couldn’t part with it. 

As she finished unpacking, she felt a prickle on the back of her neck, causing the hairs to stand on end. She slowly pivoted her head to see a strange man in a lab coat standing in her open doorway. He was otherworldly in appearance, his skin paler than the moon with just as many pockmarks and scars marring his face. He wore a pair of thin wire spectacles on the end of his large misshapen nose and peered at her with his icy blue eyes. 

Working up the nerve to speak, Kira asked him, “Can I help you, sir?”

He shook with a nervous sort of wheeze that could almost be mistaken for laughter. “No, I was just observing you. My name is Dr. Walter Snoke. I’m a physician who regularly visits this facility. You may have heard of my work pioneering the transorbital lobotomy?”

A chill ran down Kira’s vertebrae. She had heard of the ghastly procedure and its many severe consequences. Patients became a shell of their former selves, if they even survived. She decided a lie was in her best interest. Her instincts told her this man was not to be trusted. “Only very little, Doctor.”

“Well, you will see eventually. My methods are somewhat new and innovative, but have proven to have great results in curing the minds of the insane. I just wanted to welcome you to Takodana. I trust you will find it to be accommodating.”

“Thank you, Doctor.” He nodded once before turning to leave. She kept her eye on him until he was gone, then let out the breath she didn’t realize she had been holding. Something told her to stay as far away from Dr. Snoke as possible.

 

* * *

 

The first few days at the asylum passed in drudgery and busy work. Kira quickly found herself an expert in emptying bedpans and tidying up exam rooms. Rose was nice enough, and she enjoyed when they could share a meal together, which happened rarely as they were always working. However, the superintendent, Dr. Armitage Hux, was not as friendly. His gaze was always cold and calculating, like he was intent on finding fault with something Kira did. She tried to connect with him on the fact that they were both natives of England, but even that didn’t hold water with him. 

She was beginning to grow frustrated. It seemed there were too many patients and not enough staff. Yet she knew that because of her recent arrival to the facility, she still needed to earn her place. All her duties were received and carried out with a smile on her face.  _ Keep a stiff upper lip, Kenobi. It will all work out _ . 

It was late afternoon and Kira was bringing fresh linens to dress the empty patient beds. As she turned the corner, she saw Dr. Hux marching down the corridor with purpose. He stopped as he spotted Rose. “Nurse Tico, make sure the surgical tools are spotless. The next time Dr. Snoke stops in, I don’t want to be embarrassed.”

“Y-yes, sir,” she answered and turned away. 

He slapped her backside upon her passing, causing her to jump slightly and pick up the pace. Kira shook her head, but did nothing to alert anyone of her presence. It was still too soon to rock the boat. Later, in their room after the last rounds were done, she confronted her. “How do you put up with it?”

Rose looked confused. “Put up with what?”

“I saw Dr. Hux assault you in the hall today.”

“Oh that?” She actually laughed. “That was nothing. He’s harmless, really. You should have seen the last place I worked. No, Dr. Hux isn’t all that bad. It’s that Snoke you have to watch out for. He really gives me the creeps. I think Armitage is doing the best he can with what little resources we have.” In truth, Rose was stronger than most. She was willing to put up with a lot of things because she knew how hard it was for immigrants to make it in this country.

Kira’s eyebrow went up involuntarily, wondering if there might be more to the story, but she just nodded and laid down on her bed, her teddy bear clutched tightly to her chest. It was a silly thing, but some nights when she felt especially lonely, she would still cling to it like a child. It acted like a temporary balm on the aching hollow in her chest.

The next couple weeks passed in much the same fashion. By now, Kira had memorized the layout of the facility, especially noting the few places she could retreat for a little solace. One of these places was a clearing within a copse of trees in the back east corner of the property. At its center was a stone bench and hardly anyone was ever about. She took to having her lunch breaks there when Rose was nowhere to be found. She would eat her bland rations and watch the leaves sway in the wind, listening to the birds sing their little tunes. She could almost forget that she was a nurse treating some of the saddest people to ever walk the earth.

When she made her way back to the main building, the starched skirt of her uniform rustling in the warm afternoon breeze, she noted a lighter feeling in the air. Many of the patients were making their way to the front parlor, where there would sometimes be one form of entertainment or another for them. She watched as a woman entered and a throng of patients gathered around her. Her skin was tan, her hair dark, and her eyes kind. Kira thought she looked a bit older than her years, like life had not been gentle to her. Her dress was plain and simple, but she made her way straight to the modest piano in the parlor and sat down to play. As the first notes carried through the stale air of the asylum, Kira felt moved. This woman played with a tender passion that could not be faked. She was so enraptured by the performance that she barely noticed Rose come up beside her. “Wonderful, isn’t she?”

“Her playing is sublime. Who is that?”

“She’s a local widow. Never had children of her own, so she comes here to play for and sometimes read to the patients. They all call her ‘Mama.’” Rose wore a genuine smile as she watched the patients relax immediately in the woman’s presence.

“That’s so kind of her to do.”

Rose nodded and said, “I think she gets just as much out of it as they do.”

She stayed to watch the woman play for as long as she could before duty called her away again. For as much misery as she’d seen in her few short weeks at this place, the pure joy on the faces of the people today made it all worth it. Kira hoped she could make more moments like that happen in the future.

 

* * *

 

Night descended on Takodana Sanatorium much like any other, yet Kira felt a chill in her bones as she slipped her nightgown over her head and turned down her sheets. Rose was on second shift and wouldn’t be in till later. Somehow, the window had unlatched and the curtains were twisting eerily in the nocturnal zephyr. She padded over and shut it as carefully as possible before nestling herself beneath the sheets. The beds were old and not of the best quality, but she was used to that. After lying there for what felt like hours, she gave up on the sandman and decided on a late night stroll, donning a light robe over her gown.

Kira walked the lonely hallways, illuminated slightly by the dim lamps every few feet. They always turned them down at night so the patients could get some sleep. They were taking on so many new patients these days that it was hard to keep track. She would get used to a friendly face, and then they’d get transferred or worse, perish. It made her uneasy to think how comfortable she had become with death in such a short time. It was an ever present friend here at the asylum.

She ran her hand along the wooden bannister leading down to the first floor, letting herself soak up the history that lay dormant within every fiber of this place. It took her back to her childhood, when she would creep about at odd times. A sense of excitement and dread would flood over her, knowing she shouldn’t be awake, shouldn’t be exploring, yet she persisted. Kira always had trouble sleeping. When your parents leave you on the steps of the firehouse, you tend to not have a normal childhood. 

One foster father in particular liked to get drunk, and he was  _ not nice _ when he was drunk. More than once she had awoken to him standing over her bed, staring at her. He never touched her, but she was always afraid he might. Sleep did not come easily after that. Again she was thankful for her foster brother, who kept an eye on her throughout the rest of her formative years. She hoped he was safe and alive as she had not had a letter in some time. Hopefully he had gotten her missive expressing her joy over her new place of employment with the address wherein he could reach her. She knew some of their patients had come back from the war and never recovered. They would live out the rest of their days here among the other warped minds. She prayed Ben Kenobi would not suffer the same fate.

Finding herself near the patient rooms, Kira shook her head free of these intrusive thoughts and quieted her steps. Faint whimpering emanated from a nearby room, and she rushed in to find the cause. This room held the latest transfers, only three of them. One, a very tall man, from the looks of his crumpled form on the small mattress, was writhing and mumbling in his sleep. He hadn’t been restrained, so she assumed he must not be dangerous. He didn’t look much older than she, with the moonlight hitting his face through the window. His face was boyish, save for the long scar running down the right side of his face. “No, no,” he mumbled as he twitched.

It wasn’t what she normally did, but Kira felt drawn to this man. She sat down at the edge of the bed and put a hand on his arm. It was so firm and warm; her thumb began stroking his soft skin of its own volition. “Shhh,” she murmured. “You’re just having a dream.”

He stilled immediately at her touch. Emboldened by her effect on him, she smoothed back a lock of ebony hair from his pale forehead.  _ Wow, he’s beautiful. _ How did this man come to be here? The beauty marks and moles on his face seemed to mirror the constellations in the inky black sky outside. She was so caught up in her vigil that she scarcely noticed his eyes flutter open. He caught her gaze and held it.

An inexplicable charge passed between them, and Kira felt like she was on the precipice of something large. Something dangerous. Something life-changing. Then he smiled at her. “Are you an angel?”

She would have laughed were it not for the late hour. As it was, she let out a shaky breath and took in the astounding depth of his brown eyes. “I’m one of the nurses, Kira.” She hadn’t removed her hand from his head. She kept stroking his hair, almost as if he were an animal needing to be tamed. It was wrong, she knew, to be having such intimate physical contact with one of the patients. Yet, she found herself unwilling and incapable of removing her hand from his soft tresses.

He let out a soft moan from her attentions and let his eyelids close once more. Kylo Ren was not used to being touched with such tenderness. “Thank you, Kira. No one’s been able to interrupt my nightmares before. My name is Kylo.” His hand came up to touch her arm gratefully and the contact of his skin on hers set her every nerve ending alight. “Will you stay till I fall back asleep?”

She shouldn’t, but it was impossible to deny him anything. His gravitational pull was too strong. “Yes, I’ll stay.” She pulled her hand back from his hair, letting it descend down the hairline scar on his face. When she neared his mouth, he turned promptly, kissing her palm before nuzzling his head deeper into the pillow.

Kira sat there mutely, falling further over the edge with each minute until his breathing evened out and she was certain he was asleep. Then she made her way back to her room on shaky legs, knowing she was forever changed. Rose was already slumbering when she came in, and she tucked herself in quickly, letting sleep claim her as swiftly as it dared. Her chest rose and fell evenly as dreams about the raven haired man flooded her subconscious. 

 

* * *

 

For the most part, Kira kept her head down and did her work. She was very rarely spoken to by anyone besides the patients and Rose; and that was just fine by her. So it was odd to say the least when Dr. Hux asked to see her the next day. He pulled her into one of the offices and asked her to sit. 

He eyed her warily. His gaze always had a way of making her feel uncomfortable. “We received some new transfers yesterday.”

“Yes, I had heard that.”

“One patient in particular, Kylo Ren, is said to be quite disturbed. Now you know I don’t like extreme measures, so he’s in with the general population for now, but I want you to keep an eye on him. Make sure he doesn’t act out of line. I will request solitary confinement or even restraints if they are needed.”

Kira tried to control the flush that was creeping up her neck. “Yes, of course. Thank you for the warning, Dr. Hux.”

“He is also said to be very cunning, so I wanted to make you aware.”

“I will be vigilant. I do appreciate your concern.”

“Yes, well. You have proven yourself to be a competent nurse, Kira. We need more of your ilk around here.” He dismissed her with a wave of his hand. 

_Did Dr. Hux actually compliment me?_ She idly wondered if there was something in the air that was bringing about these odd changes to Takodana. She would have to confer with Rose about all this later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi on [twitter](https://twitter.com/monsterleadme) or [tumblr](https://monsterleadmehome.tumblr.com/).


	3. Takodana, New York, Present Day

_“Yes, Kylo. Just like that,” she mumbled. He was deep inside her, thrusting deliciously. The floor beneath her was stiff despite the blanket they had laid down, but her pleasure far outweighed the pain. She was_ so _close. Beads of sweat trickled down his forehead as he huffed in exertion. Oh the things he did to her._

_“I love you, Kira. I’ll love you till my dying day and long after.”_

_“I love you, too. No matter what happens, they can never take that away.” Her words were choppy as she spoke in between panting. Then he pushed her over the edge and she bit down on her lip to keep from screaming as she came. He nuzzled her neck, biting down lightly to muffle the sound of his release as he followed. The look in his eyes as he reared up afterward and pulled out of her was one of utter devotion. Suddenly a harsh noise filled the room, the cadence of its staccato beeping ruining the lovers’ mood._

The buzzing of her alarm woke Rey out of her dream-induced stupor. She rolled over and hit the snooze button, feeling the ache between her legs. Reaching down into her underwear, she found they were damp. _God, what a dream_ . She was herself but _not_ herself and the ghost that looked like Ben was… well, he was something. Her thoughts wandered to the awkwardly hunky journalist and his well-toned arms. She reached inside her nightstand to grab her vibrator.

She imagined his plush looking lips on hers as she slid the silicone up and down her folds, teasing that bundle of nerves till she bucked her hips off the bed. She thought of what his chest looked like underneath that dress shirt as she moved the toy to her opening, thrusting inside to rub up against that spot that felt just right. His liquid honey eyes were what she saw as she came undone, wishing it were him instead. No sooner had she cried out into the depths of her cottage than her phone buzzed.

> **Ben**
> 
> Be there in about an hour, if that’s ok?

Feeling her cheeks flush, she pulled the vibrator out and set it carefully down to wash off later. Ignoring the slight pulses of pleasure still running through her body, she grabbed her phone to reply.  

> **Rey’s iPhone**
> 
> I’ll be here. :)

She idly hoped the smiley didn’t seem too childish. He was several years older by her guesstimate and she wasn’t sure how he took emoticons in text. Not like it should matter to her so much. She didn’t need to wonder long as she received a thumbs up emoji in response. She stumbled out of bed and headed to the shower.

Rey didn’t often need to worry about what she wore around the campus. Anything she chose would probably be dirty by the end of the day and besides the odd visitor, she was usually alone. Today, however, she felt like putting a little more effort in since she was seeing Ben. It was ridiculous. He was here to do a job, nothing more. He’d be gone in a week or two and she’d go back to the way things were. Still, there was something about him she couldn’t let go. So she put on a navy colored blouse with cream polka dots, her best ass-hugging jeans, and wore a touch of mascara and lip gloss. It would be silly to not even _try_.

While she waited on his arrival, she went about her normal daily duties. As she made her way to the front of the main building, she felt a presence in the air. Unbidden, the thought came to her that Finn and Poe would love to hear about her recent sightings. She kept walking down the corridor but looked from side to side every few seconds, expecting to see the ghost of Ben’s doppelganger again. Suddenly the hair on the back of her neck prickled as she felt someone whisper in her ear, “Tell them, Kira.” When she whipped her head around, there was no one there. The voice had been low, barely audible, but it sounded a lot like Ben.

She was sweeping off the front steps when she saw him pull up. He squinted through his glasses in the sunlight as he got out of the car and ran a hand through his dark hair. It was long enough to cover his ears, but she saw the tips of them jutting out before the strands fell back into place. When he saw her watching, he smiled, and she was utterly charmed. _This man is going to be the death of me_ , she thought as he bound up the steps to greet her. His walk was endearingly crooked and seemed to imply that he was packing more than average ammunition in the pants department.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey, yourself. How was your first night in town?” She fiddled with the broom in her hand for something to do, resisting the urge to rise up on her toes and kiss him as if they’d done it a thousand times before.

“It was good. The bed was a little lumpy, but I ordered from the Chinese place you suggested and it was delicious.”

“Good, I’m glad!” She motioned for him to follow her as she walked into the building.

“Would’ve been better with company, though.” It was nearly a mumble, but loud enough for her to hear. Was it possible he had wanted her to join him for dinner last night? She felt a flutter in her chest at the implication.

“Yeah?” She turned around to face him for the full effect. He had his hands jammed into jean pockets. The sleeves on his red plaid shirt strained around his muscles with the action.

“Let me take you to dinner? Um, to interview you?” He looked almost like a bashful schoolboy, and it was impossible to resist.

“Sure! I’d love that.”

He nodded, looking relieved. She watched his intake of breath and felt herself involuntarily moving closer to him. “Right. So, what did you have in mind for today?”

“I thought you could show me around the grounds some more and maybe give me a little history?”

“I can do that. Actually, I haven’t had my coffee yet today, if you’d like some?”

He perked up a little. “That would be amazing.”

She led him through the decaying halls of the sanatorium through the east wing and out the kitchens where the back door opened to the rest of the grounds. They then trekked to her little cottage, where she put on a pot of coffee. Rey wasn’t used to small talk, but she wanted to know Ben better. “So, what made you decide to become a journalist?”

He leaned against her small kitchen countertop and she liked how it looked like he belonged, all casual and relaxed. “I didn’t actually always want this. I wanted to write fiction, but it’s so hard to break into that world sometimes, and I got an offer with First Order that I couldn’t pass up. It’s not so bad, actually. I get to travel for assignments like this one and meet interesting people… like you.”

The intensity of his gaze was a bit much, and she was glad that the sputter of the coffee machine alerted her to its readiness. “Well, that sounds nice. What kind of publication will this piece be in?”

“Oh it’s a bit of a history slash travel journal, _Finalizer_.”

“Fascinating! I’ll have to look it up. I myself was an art history major. I think it’s one of the reasons why I was drawn to this job. There’s so much beauty and history wrapped up in this tragic location.” She paused, grabbing a mug for them both. “How do you take your coffee?”

“No cream, two sugars. Thanks.”

She fixed his then added a heaping spoonful of turbinado sugar to her own mug and a splash of half and half. “Shall we sit for a few? We can go back to that spot in the clearing?”

“I’d like that.”

They sipped their coffee as they sat on the stone bench and traded a few more stories. She found that Ben was an only child and didn’t get on that well with his parents, though he loved them both. She pegged him for a mama’s boy, but figured he took after his father in personality. They both wanted different things for him; his mother wanted him to follow her into politics, and his father wanted him to follow his military steps. Instead, on the advice of his uncle, he had gone to college and figured out what he wanted on his own.

In turn, Rey told him about her sad childhood in England and how she had finally escaped to the States for university once she turned eighteen. She didn’t know why she chose Takodana University; it had just felt right. After they tore down the asylum, she wanted to move somewhere new and pursue a job as a museum curator. Ben seemed approving of this idea and mentioned that Hanna City, where he lived, had some great museums. She set her hand down upon the bench as she swallowed the last dregs of coffee from her cup and accidentally grazed his fingers with her own. Instantly she moved them, but she couldn’t ignore the spark that had flown between their skin.

 

* * *

 

The weather was pleasant for a stroll on the grounds, and Rey was thankful that she’d chosen a blouse with longer sleeves as the wind picked up and rustled through her hair. She usually wore it up, but had opted to leave it down instead, hoping Ben would notice. The butterflies in her stomach were assaulting her mercilessly, and she couldn’t understand why she was feeling this way. Or why the spirit she’d seen looked exactly like him. It was definitely time to do some investigating.

“Where’d you go?” Ben asked as they approached the unmarked graveyard. 

She blinked at him once, twice. “Sorry, I get lost in my thoughts sometimes.”

“That happens to me, too. I think it’s part of having a creative mind.”

A smile pulled at the edges of her lips. “So this is the potter’s field. There’s about four hundred bodies buried here, give or take. A lot of the little markers just have numbers on them as we still don’t know the identity of many of the deceased.”

Ben walked closer to the little gravestones, his face falling into a frown. “That’s so sad.”

“I know. I don’t like the way it feels over here, but I come out sometimes and walk around to kind of let them know they’re not forgotten. So they don’t feel alone the way I do most of the time.”

He turned around slowly, a very serious look on his face. “You’re not alone.”

It was three words, but to Rey it felt like something she’d longed someone to say her whole life. “Neither are you.”

She stepped closer to him, reaching out her hand. When he reciprocated, his skin on hers felt electric. All they were doing was holding hands but she felt nearly euphoric. Suddenly she heard what sounded like a baby crying coming from the rear of the cemetery. She dropped his hand and took off in that direction.

“Rey, what is it?”

“Didn’t you hear that? It sounded like a baby crying!’” She looked around frantically. Who would leave a baby out here?

She jumped when Ben’s hand landed on her shoulder. “I didn’t hear anything. Maybe it was a trick of the wind?”

Oh. He didn’t hear it. Maybe she was going crazy. “I’m sorry, you must think I’m mad.”

“No, I don’t think that.” He reached over and tucked her hair behind her ear. “You hair looks nice down.”

Her heartbeat was still racing after the scare that her auditory hallucination brought on, and his affectionate touch did nothing to alleviate it. “Do you believe in reincarnation?” Rey asked him breathlessly. He was standing impossibly close.

Ben let out a shaky breath as he dipped his head even closer. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” she said even as she rose up on her toes to meet him halfway, the strange sensation that they’d done this before washing over her. The thought quickly vanished from her mind as her lips met his. If it was possible, they were even softer than they looked. An involuntary sigh escaped her as she melted into the kiss.

His hands wrapped around her, one at her waist and the other snaking around her neck to wind up in her hair. He pulled her flush against him and moaned into her mouth as his tongue ran along the seam of her lips, requesting permission to go deeper. She acquiesced instantly, her eager tongue meeting his in a familiar dance. She placed a hand on his chest and felt his heart racing underneath her touch. Could it be he was affected by her just as much as she was by him?

When they broke for air, he released her quickly like she was made of fire and took a step back. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me; that was so unprofessional.”

Her eyes went wide as she felt like he was slipping from her grasp. “Don’t be sorry, Ben. I wanted that. There’s something here, don’t you think?”

He raked his hand through his hair and her heart stuttered. It was so endearing. “I do, but it’s so intense. I’m scared.”

She advanced toward him and touched his arm. “Don’t be afraid; I feel it, too.”

He nodded, still looking somewhat unsure until she took his hand in hers. He squeezed it before releasing her and grabbing his camera from his shoulder. “Mind if I take a few pictures here before we move on?”

“Go right ahead.”

He walked around snapping a few photos of the different grave markers. Rey observed him quietly, drinking in the way he moved, how the cut of his jeans hugged his ass just right. She brought a finger to her bottom lip, still tingling from their kiss. He might need some convincing, but there was no way she was going to let him leave town without doing that again. She followed him to the cemetery’s entrance where he took several shots of the memorial stone in front. It read, **Takodana Sanatorium Cemetery** and underneath, **The Echoes They Left Behind**.

“It really is eerily beautiful.” He shouldered his camera again and stuck his hands in his pockets.

“I agree.” She looped her arm through his as they trudged up the hill back to the main building. The towering facade of the asylum always looked more daunting when coming up from the graveyard. When they reached the front steps, she let go of his arm, unsure of what else to say.

“Well, I think I’m going to head back to the hotel and type some of this up while it’s fresh in my mind. Do you want to get dinner tonight?”

She was almost surprised he still asked after his reaction to their kiss. “I’d love to. We could go to Maz’s, best burgers in town.”

“Sure. Do you, uh, have a car?”

“No, just a bike. I usually will take it into town and grab an Uber home if I’m too tired to ride back.”

He looked stunned for a moment. “Really? Oh, okay. Then I guess I’ll come back here to pick you up. Is seven o’clock good for you?”

“Sounds great. I’ll see you then.”

“Alright,” he said nervously, backing towards his car while not taking his eyes off her. “It’s a date.”

“It’s a date.”

 

* * *

 

 

Rey felt as if she were floating as she made her way back through the halls of the sanatorium. She looked forward to seeing Ben again, even though he’d only just left. Without thinking, she veered toward the west wing, a part of the facility she rarely visited if only because of its rundown state. The door to the tower stairs creaked as it was pushed open, revealing a myriad of spiderwebs that coated every surface. As dusty beams of light filtered in from above, the echoes of soft footfall sounded in the corridor as the nearly two centuries old wooden steps groaned under the unfamiliar weight.  

At the top of the tower, a small room opened up from the dark passage of the stairwell, bare for exploration. Never had she ventured to this part of the asylum before, alerted by the previous caretaker that it was not entirely safe. In fact, looking around her now, Rey wasn’t sure how she had gotten up here. She didn’t even remember climbing the stairs. It was colder now, her breath visible in the chilled atmosphere. Sounds like echoes of laughter and heavy breathing flooded her senses, and she suddenly felt heat pool in her belly. Flashes of her dream from early that morning came back to her as she imagined the slap of skin against skin and the moans from her beloved. No, that wasn’t her, and she didn’t have a beloved. Yet…

Unsteady feet drew nearer to the far wall. There were scratches and notches just above the baseboard. What had been in this room before? A solitary window overlooked the front of the property. One could easily see all the comings and goings from this spot. Then, she noticed it among the scratches, tucked away by the corner. Someone had carved a heart into the wall. Inside were the names “Kylo and Kira.” Her breath hitched as she remembered the man in her dream. A feeling of a hand caressing her cheek stunned her out of her reverie. Rey screamed and swiveled to see the culprit, but there was no one there. The blood drained from her face as she ran back down the rickety stairs, through to the east wing, and out the back door to her cottage.

Only once she was safely within the confines of her home, did she take a moment to breathe, her chest heaving and sweat beading at her temples as she tried to calm down. What was happening to her? When she had returned to normal enough to think straight, she put on another pot of coffee and broke out her laptop. One of the caretakers a few years back was insanely thorough and digitized all the records that were available. She did a search first for the name Kira; there were a couple to narrow it down from - several patients and one nurse, Kira Kenobi, who worked here in the 1940s.

She had an inkling about that name and delved further into her research. Kira Kenobi had died on the property only a year into working at the asylum. The cause of death was not listed. She looked through everything she could find until she brought up a staff picture from 1943. There among the nurses, doctors, and other employees, was a woman who looked just like Rey. Her hair looked a little darker and she was a little heavier, but the original photo was in black and white, so it was hard to tell. Beyond that, she was a spitting image of herself. Rey took a big swig of coffee and stared at the picture until her eyes burned. How was this possible?

The next name she searched was Kylo, and it brought back only one hit: a patient by the name of Kylo Ren, who also passed in 1943, less than a year after he had been transferred from another facility. Beyond that information, there was nothing else recorded about the patient. Only that his attending physician was a Dr. Snoke. Rey became sick to her stomach upon reading that name. The spirits were trying to tell her something, but she wasn’t sure what yet. She had been so deep into her research that the sound of her phone vibrating against the table sent her into a panic.

> **Ben**

> Ready for our date? I should be there in a half hour.

_Shit_. She needed to get dressed. Maz’s was by no means a fancy place, but Rey wanted to look nice. She pulled out her trusty little black dress and paired it with a mustard yellow cardigan for the cooler weather. After freshening up her makeup, she curled the ends of her hair for a little extra flair. The pale lip gloss she had on earlier was replaced with a hot pink matte lipstick. She surveyed herself in the mirror, pleased with the overall result. Then she slipped into her beige ankle boots and made her way to the front entrance so she’d be there when Ben arrived.

The sun had only just set casting the grounds in a subdued melancholy hue. Rey was used to going through the buildings at night, much as she tried not to make a habit of it. However, the earlier events of the day had her taking the long way, walking all the way around the outskirts of the building. She kept her eyes on the patch of road she could see, trying not to even glance at the windows for fear of what she might find looking back at her. Never had she been witness to so much activity in such a short span of time.

By the time she reached the gravel driveway, she could see Ben’s headlights a little ways down the main road. Her heart rate sped up as she anticipated his greeting. Would they kiss again? _I hope so_. Her teeth shone a bright white between her magenta lips when he unfurled himself from the car. He was clad in black jeans and a charcoal dress shirt. His black boots added to the monochromatic look, making him look dark and mysterious.

“You look gorgeous.” He met her as she walked to him and pulled her into a swift embrace, pressing his lips to her temple. “Don’t want to ruin your lipstick.”

“You’re not so bad yourself.” She pressed on his chest as she lifted herself up to give him a chaste peck on the lips. “It’s kiss proof, so you don’t need to worry.”

They chatted amicably on the way into town, the uncomfortableness after their previous kiss in the cemetery completely forgotten. Something about Ben was so comforting, Rey felt like she had known him forever instead of only two days. Excitement grew within as they pulled into the tavern. She hadn’t been to see Maz in quite a while. The old woman would certainly have something to say about that.

Ben opened the door for her and helped her out of the car, heat lingering on her hand once again when he touched her. Rey thought it was very chivalrous of him to offer, even though she was perfectly capable of getting out on her own. She could tell he was making every attempt at being a perfect gentleman. Although, she wasn’t entirely sure if she wanted him to behave that way in _every_ aspect of the evening.

“REY JOHNSON!”

Rey winced as Maz’s voice echoed through the entire tavern alerting everyone to her presence.

“Hey Maz!”

“Long time, no see! I was beginning to think you had gone crazy spending too much time in that asylum by yourself.” The diminutive woman wrapped Rey in a fierce hug, barely coming to her chest. “I worried the spirits were getting to you.”

“No, there’s only one kind of spirits I like getting to me, if you know what I mean.” She laughed, trying to ease out of the scrutiny.

Maz touched a finger to her nose in a knowing gesture. “And who is this strapping young man? You’ve never brought a date here before.”

“This is Ben Solo, he’s a journalist here to do a story on the sanatorium before they tear it down.”

“Nice to meet you.” Ben stuck out his hand for Maz to shake, but she took it and yanked him close.

“If you live long enough, you see the same eyes in different people. You look familiar, Ben Solo.”

She let him go and Ben stuck a finger in his collar, as if to relieve some unseen pressure. “Maybe you’ve crossed paths with my father, Han Solo. I think he spent some time in Takodana.”

She smiled wide, her large glasses moving up on her wrinkled face with the gesture. “I remember Han! But that’s not it.” She shuffled around and grabbed a couple menus. “Enough dilly-dallying. Let’s get you two a table, shall we?”

Rey suspected Maz was well into her eighties by now, but she refused to give up working in her tavern. She owned and operated the place, insisting there was no point in someone else running the business when she was still perfectly healthy and her mind sharp. Of course she had employees, but one could almost always find her at the pub, mingling and overseeing things. Leading them to a corner booth, she set down the menus and gave them another appraising look. “You two just met?”

“Yes, only yesterday. Wow, it seems longer.” Rey looked at Ben and noticed the flush creeping up his neck. She suspected his ears looked much the same under the dark waves of hair covering them.

“Hmmm… it does indeed, doesn’t it?” Maz winked at the pair of them. “Kaydel will be with you in a moment. In the meantime, I’ll get you something to drink.” She waltzed off without bothering to ask what they wanted.

“Is she always like that?” Ben stared at her with a quizzical look on his face.

“Yeah, kind of. She’s really sweet, but a little off her rocker.” What Rey didn’t say is that she was positively unnerved by Maz’s reading on Ben. She knew from experience that the old woman was a bit of a clairvoyant, able to sense things that others didn’t. “Actually Maz has lived in this town her whole life, so you should probably ask her some questions about it.”

“Oh really? That’s good to know. Thanks, Rey.”

Two glasses clanked down on the table as Maz came back with their drinks. “Gin and tonic,” she said, handing one to Rey. “And an old fashioned for the gentleman.”

Ben looked down at his drink that he didn’t order and took a cautious sip. “Thank you.”

Maz grunted and sped away to harass the couple that just walked in. Rey sipped on her drink and looked up at him. “So did she guess right?”

“I’ve never had an old fashioned in my life, but it’s really good! I usually take whiskey or bourbon by itself or with a splash of Coke, but this might be my new standard.”

“That’s part of the magic here. Maz has been running this place for a long time. She inherited it from her parents. I think it might be nearly as old as the asylum!”

“That’s impressive.” Ben looked like he might have been about to say more but they were interrupted by the waitress coming over.

“Hi Rey! It’s been awhile.” The petite blonde wore her hair up in two high buns to keep it out of her face. She wore jeans and a Kanata Tavern t-shirt.

“I know, Kaydel. Time flies, eh? This is Ben; he’s doing a story on the asylum.”

“Nice to meet you, Ben. What are you guys having?”

Ben ordered the house special burger, a monstrosity with two kinds of cheese, bacon, onion rings and a secret sauce. Rey got her usual mushroom Swiss burger. When Kaydel left to put their order in, he launched right into some interview questions.

“I figured we’d get the business stuff out of the way first,” he said with a wink.

Rey did her best to answer each question thoroughly and felt pretty good about her answers by the time their food came out. She popped a fry in her mouth and sighed. “Their fries are the best.”

He raised an eyebrow but sampled one of his own. “Damn, that’s a good French fry.”

“Now that we’re done with the interview questions, it’s my turn. What’s your favorite color?”

“Really?” He smirked at the simple question. “Blue.”

“Why?”

“Honestly it’s because it calms me. I really enjoy looking at pictures of the sky or the ocean. The vast expanse of blue makes me feel peaceful.”

Rey thought that was beautiful. “Mine is green. The color of new beginnings. Band?”

“Depeche Mode. You?”

“Nice. Paramore.” So what if she had a girl crush on Hayley Williams. Ben would just need to accept that.

They talked for long after their food was all gone and Maz brought them a brownie sundae on the house. Rey pretended not to notice that Ben let her eat most of it. She felt positively stuffed as they walked back to his car. Once they arrived back at the sanatorium, the gothic tower looked much more menacing by moonlight. She felt silly to admit she was afraid to walk back to her cottage alone.

“Walk me to my door?” She tried her best to seem casual.

“Of course.”

They made their way around the outside of the building, Rey convincing him it wasn’t safe to walk around the interior at night because of all the debris. As her home came into view, Ben’s head craned up to look at one of the upper floors. “Is that light supposed to be on?”

Turning to where he pointed, Rey inhaled sharply. A light in a third floor window was on. There was no electric above the first floor. As they watched it, it switched off. “Nope, but it’s not now.”

“Shouldn’t you call someone? I mean, there could be a person inside.”

“It’s no one living Ben, I can assure you that.”

“Does that happen often?”

“It happens enough that I don’t worry about it anymore.”

They arrived at her door and she slid her key in the lock before looking up at him expectantly. He tucked a loose tendril of hair behind her ear. “I don’t know how I feel about you being here alone if there really is someone inside there.”

She gulped, fingering his shirt collar. “Then maybe you should stay.”

Apparently that was all the encouragement he needed. His lips found hers as they backed inside the door and shut it behind them. Tenderness gave way to passion as he pushed her up against the door, tongue seeking the inside of her mouth to take her in fully. She gasped as he pinned one of her hands above her head. Her other hand curved around his neck, winding her fingers in the ends of his hair.

His hardness soon became evident against her and Rey bucked her hips into him, chasing the feeling. Hands wandered down and gripped her ass tightly, pushing her to launch herself upon him and entwine her legs around his waist. Every part of her wanted this- wanted _him-_ in the strangest way. Her tongue brushed up against his with an electricity as if it were new and exciting, but it resonated as deeply as if they had done this a million times before.

He shuffled them over to her bed, all her furniture exposed in the studio style of the cottage. As soon as her back hit the mattress and he saw her splayed out before him, his demeanor changed. The ravenous beast left his eyes and was replaced by the uncertain lovesick schoolboy. “Rey?” His voice was a hoarse whisper.

“Come here,” she beckoned.

He crawled on top of her with the trepidation of a wounded animal. She brushed the hair hanging in his face back with her fingers. “That feels nice,” he murmured before kissing her palm.

“I want you, Ben. I can’t explain it, but every fiber in my being is calling for you.”

“I want you, too. But this is all happening so fast.”

“I know, and we don’t have to do anything you don’t want.” A part of her wanted to giggle at the sound of her own words. How many guys had said that to her before and then ran when she wound up not wanting to do anything?

He looked sheepish as she removed his glasses and delicately kissed his eyelids. “Can I just hold you for now?”

“Yeah, Ben. Of course you can.” She laid down beside him and he nestled her close against his chest. They fell asleep as the wind howled through the trees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the lovely Semperfidani for making this beautiful [moodboard](http://semperfidani.tumblr.com/post/181714162209/i-have-no-words-for-just-how-much-i-love-this-fic)!
> 
>  
> 
> Updates Tuesdays and Fridays!


	4. Takodana, New York, 1940s

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to Chad Lawson, whose music I listened to almost exclusively while writing this fic.

The next few days passed in a rather excited haze for Kira. Each night she found herself able to steal away to Kylo’s room and sit beside him as he fell asleep. If the other patients noticed, they weren’t saying anything. And really, she thought selfishly, who would believe them? 

She realized quickly that it wasn’t out of a good natured resolution to help him as a patient, but that her nighttime meetings with Kylo were as much for her benefit as for his. Her trouble with sleeping seemed to be abated for the time being as she would sleep soundly through the night after each encounter. She slipped into his room, now sharing a regular space with three other patients, and quietly sat on the edge of his bed. 

His face lit up when saw her. “Kira…” it was only her name he whispered yet it was evident there was so much left unsaid. 

“Kylo,” she replied, sliding her hand beneath his and intertwining their fingers. “How was your day?” 

“I managed not to piss off anyone. It’s the little things.” The noise he made was almost like laughter. 

“Well I had to help an eighty year old man clean his own feces off the wall, so I would say you win.” Her accompanying smile left him breathless. Never had he seen such a beautiful creature. 

“Yes, I think I agree.”

“How have the nightmares been?” Her hand left his and she smoothed his hair back, unable to resist touching his dark locks. 

“Nonexistent, since you started visiting me.” He sat up then, something bursting in his chest that he needed to get out or he’d never have the courage. 

“Kylo, you should lie down and sleep.”

“I will. First, there’s something I need to tell you.” They had already been speaking in hushed tones so as not to wake the other patients, but his voice dropped even lower as he said this. 

“What?” Her voice was barely audible, her heart beating a staccato rhythm she feared might wake the whole wing. 

He moved closer, bringing his palm to cup her cheek. “You enchant me.” Not waiting for a response, he covered her lips with his own. 

They were impossibly soft, his lips. Kira was used to a lot of the patients having cracked, dry lips that she would have to rub salve on lest they start bleeding. Kylo’s were... not that way. She felt her defenses melt one by one until her arms were wrapped around him, and she was kissing him back, a whimper sounding as his tongue darted out to taste her. She pushed him back. “Kylo, we can’t.”

He made no move to back away, instead threading his hand into her hair, loosening it from the bun she wore daily. “Why not? Tell me you don’t feel it, too.”

“Of course I feel it.” She crushed her eyelids shut as a tear escaped, rolling down her cheek. “I could lose my job, or they could transfer you again, and then where would we be?”  _ Alone. I’d be utterly alone again _ _. _

He caught the tear, wiping it away with his large fingers. Kylo had already set his mind and heart on this. For him, there could be no going back. “I won’t tell a soul. We can be careful.”

Her heart burned to look at him. He was so beautiful, so broken, so alike to her. She felt as if she had always known him, always loved him, an invisible thread running from his heart to hers. A calming breath helped her regain focus. “Let’s talk about it later. You should sleep now.”

With a knowing smile, Kylo laid back down. He knew deep down he had won. He let sleep claim him as Kira’s fingers dragged through his hair. 

 

* * *

 

Kira awoke the next morning with a sheen of sweat covering her. She had the most naughty dreams while she slept: images of Kylo’s lips kissing every inch of her body. Their naked forms had curved around each other, writhing as they sought their mutual pleasure. She didn’t need to check her undergarments to know that they would be sticky with the evidence of her arousal. She used the basin in her room to splash some water on her face and ready herself for work.

Later, as the sun was high and lunch had long passed, Rose came to find her. “Kira, some of the patients were interested in a stroll outside. Could you escort them?”

“Of course, Rose!” Going outdoors was one of her favorite parts of the day. Rose knew this as well, always passing this task to Kira whenever it arose. 

As she made her way outside, she tilted her head up and closed her eyes, letting the sunshine warm her face and neck. When she opened them, she discovered herself face to face with Kylo. He was the head of the group of about five patients. “Nurse Kira,” he greeted. “So nice of you to take us about the lawn.”

“Indeed. Everyone, follow me.” The patients haphazardly gathered and followed her listlessly while Kylo remained firmly by her side as they walked. 

“Have you thought any more about our situation?” His tone was casual, but inside the butterflies were running amuck. Never in his life had Kylo cared about another person this much. 

Kira flushed as she recalled her nocturnal visions. “I dreamt of you last night,” she admitted softly enough for only him to hear.

“Oh? And what were we doing in this dream?” His grin was cheeky, trying to elicit the very response he knew she was trying to keep at bay.

Her cheeks became pinker, the freckles on her nose more pronounced. Kylo wanted to play connect the dots with them; he imagined that they were spread all over her body and he would take his time connecting each one using his tongue as a pen. “We were very… close.” It was as much as she was willing to admit aloud.

“Mmm, I see.” He stopped then, plucking a flowering weed out of the grass. He turned and tucked it into her hair, the other patients uncaring. “I would wait all of eternity for you, Kira. Please don’t torture me longer than necessary.”

A petite blonde girl, no older than fifteen, took this as the perfect time to pipe up. “I want a flower, too, Kylo!” He gladly obliged the girl, tucking a white bud into her pigtail. Kira felt her heart bloom at the gesture. 

The rest of the walk passed by peacefully, Kylo keeping his distance and Kira tending to the other patients before leading them back inside. She couldn’t help herself from stealing glances at him, though. Could they really be together in secret without anyone knowing? It seemed unlikely, but with each passing day, her need for him grew. She feared what could happen if they were found out, but she feared a life without Kylo even more.

 

* * *

 

Mama was back, and the patients gathered round her like kittens waiting patiently for milk. Kylo had always loved music and though he tended not to socialize much with the other inmates (as he jokingly referred to them), he always came out for her playing. There was also something just so comforting about her: it was in her mannerisms and the smile lines in her tan skin. She made a person feel at home. The first notes of a sonata started up and he closed his eyes, leaning against the far wall of the parlor, just drinking in the haunting melody. Suddenly there was a whisper in his ear.

“I need to talk to you.” Kira tugged lightly on his sleeve as he opened his eyes and quickly followed her down the corridor to a side room she pulled him into.

“What is it?” The strains of the song could still be heard through the door of the small room they were in. He didn’t wait for her answer, wrapping his arms around her and swaying along to the music.

Kira leaned her head into his chest. There’d never be a more perfect time to tell him than this. “I’ve thought about it, Kylo. And I think we owe it to ourselves to try.”

He looked down at her as she brought her head back to look up at him. His eyes held such wonder, as if he were unbelieving of her words. “Really?”

“But we mustn’t tell a soul! And we have to keep it quiet.” Her heart was beating in double time, clashing with the rhythm of the song.

“Of course. Anything for you.”

She pressed up on her toes to meet him in a searing kiss. They had privacy for now as everyone would be too wrapped up in Mama’s little concert to pay them any attention. Kylo felt like a whole person for the first time in his life as Kira’s lips moved against his own. She didn’t know much of romance. There was one boy, a mistake when she was seventeen, but then she set her sights on nursing and never looked back. Yet, kissing Kylo felt like something she was born to do, as if their mouths were made for each other.

He felt the same, his only past experiences with girls awkward and brief, always running when they saw just how troubled he was. But this was something deeper; this was  _ fate _ . Kylo instinctively knew all the right things to do, where every one of Kira’s buttons were. He pushed her back into the wall, threading his hands into her hair and felt his pants tighten when she moaned into his mouth. His tongue danced against hers like they’d done this a thousand times. Both of them so lit up, they could be a display window at Bloomingdale’s. His hand wandered to her breast, palming her lightly through her dress, eliciting another pleasured moan. She threw her head back as he squeezed her gently and he took the opportunity to kiss her neck, careful not to suck too hard lest he leave a tell-tale bruise. 

It was Kira who finally disengaged herself from his arms, noting that the piano playing had stopped. Reluctantly, Kylo took a step back, his eyes still full of lust and a deeper emotion so intense it nearly scared her. “I’ll come find you tonight after my rounds,” she finally said. “Wait a full minute before you leave this room.”

He wound up waiting longer, willing the tent in his trousers to go down. 

 

* * *

 

They took their trysts wherever they could find them. Usually they were over too soon, leaving both of them bereft and frustrated. Always at night, they would just have conversations, Kira smoothing back his hair till he fell asleep. It was the only way to alleviate his nightmares and her insomnia. That was until Dr. Hux put Kira on the nightshift, taking away her precious night meetings with Kylo. It was only for a couple days to fill in for one of the nurses who had gone on leave, but the first night she hardly slept at all. The second night she was passing by the hall that held his room when she overheard a commotion.

A glance inside the room had her eyes widening in horror. Kylo was thrashing about wildly, two orderlies trying to tie his limbs in restraints. “What do you think you’re doing?” She breezed into the room and immediately started removing the restraints. He settled instantly at the feel of her skin on his.

“He was having nightmares and moving all around, we just thought-”

“Well, you thought wrong!” she snapped at them, tenderly rubbing his wrist where the leather strap had been only a moment prior. “He needs gentle care when he’s having nightmares, not to be tied down.”

“Sorry, nurse,” one of the orderlies said as he backed away. They both looked unsure of what to do next.

“Leave us. I can take it from here.” As soon as they left the room she moved her hand to his face and hair, caressing him with such devotion. “Are you okay?”

“Better now that you’re here, my love,” he whispered. 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t able to be here last night. I’ll be off night shift at the end of the week.”

“It’s really fine. I always had to sleep with restraints before. I would have managed.”

“But you shouldn’t have to.” A lone tear rolled down her cheek. It splashed onto his face and he frowned.

“Please don’t waste any tears on me, angel. I don’t deserve them.” He hated to see her in any kind of pain, even if it was on his behalf.

She sniffled and swiped at her eyes. “It’s far too late for that now.” She kissed her two fingers and placed them on his lips. Then she pulled a handkerchief from her pocket. “Keep this on you. It smells like me, so maybe that will help these next couple nights. I have to get back before someone comes looking for me.”

“Thank you.” He took the scrap of cloth and breathed it in. Then he rolled over and fell asleep listening to her footsteps echo down the corridor.

 

* * *

 

Oddly enough, her solution worked. Kylo slept soundly the next few night with Kira’s handkerchief clutched tightly in his fist. He was feeling the most himself he’d ever been, even the voices in his head were virtually nonexistent with her around. He started thinking of ways they could escape, flee to the countryside somewhere and start over, just the two of them. Maybe even have a few kids someday. But it was all for naught. He knew what kind of life he was in for. His only desire was to spend every last second that he could with the woman he loved. He had slipped away from his group. It’s not like anyone kept that close of a watch on the patients these days. They were far too understaffed for that. He rounded another corner, in search of his girl. He needed to see her.

The corridor was musty and stale- Kira would have to remind Arty the janitor to take another sweep through this area later. It was bad enough that the patients were crammed into their tiny rooms, sometimes two to a bed. The stagnant air was not good for their lungs. She also wanted to talk to someone about allowing for more outside time. The gardens could use a little pruning. She was jarred out of her thoughts by a tender hand on the small of her back. She whipped around. “Kylo! You can’t be here… patients aren’t allowed in this area without an escort.”

He grinned mischievously, “Well, you can be my escort, Nurse Kira.” He went to slink his arm around her waist, but she turned out of his grasp.

“Stop! Someone might see.” Outwardly she was protesting, but he knew deep down she had to be enjoying this as much as he was.

“Please,” he whispered hoarsely. “I’m going mad without you… well, more mad.” He grunted at his own little joke.

Kira’s mouth turned down at the corners. She hated when he talked about himself like this. Kylo wasn’t crazy. He wasn’t deranged. He suffered from a kind of mental torment she knew could never be cured here. Selfishly, she was glad for his company. He made her feel less hopeless. She nodded once, permission given as she took his hands and led him into the shadows at the end of the hall.

Once there, he wasted no time pressing her back against the wall and covering her mouth with his own. She melted into his arms as his hands ran up and down the length of her sterile gown. His tongue was hot and needy inside her mouth and she savored every sensation like it would be her last. It would, if anyone found out about them. She’d lose her job, and then who would Kylo have? He was just as alone as she was. Too taken with lust to follow this train of thought any further, she moaned when he pulled back for air. He then trailed kisses along her jaw, down her neck, and in between her breasts.

“You taste amazing,” he mused. Then drifting lower, he placed a kiss on her clothed abdomen and hitched her skirt up. “I want to taste you elsewhere.”

“Kylo…” she murmured, about to protest, but he felt too good. She whimpered as he slid her panties down her legs to the floor and hiked her leg up over his shoulder.

Seeing him on his knees before her made her feel like she was taking advantage. Abusing her authority. As if sensing her discomfort, he urged, “Please, Kira. I need this. I need  _ you _ .”

“Yes. Yes, Kylo.”

It was all he needed to hear before bringing his lips to her mound. He kissed her softly at her thatch of hairs before licking a languid stripe up her slit. Kira put a hand over her mouth to keep from crying out as he parted her slick folds with his fingers and dove in to taste her there.

“I was right. You taste incredible.” He kissed, nipped, and suckled, bringing his sinful lips up to play with her sensitive bud. He applied gentle pressure there with the flat of his tongue, and she could feel her other leg starting to give out. Before she lost her balance, he grasped her other leg and nuzzled himself underneath it until she was effectively pinned between him and the wall, his mouth and nose buried deep in her sex. 

It was sheer heaven and Kira thought she might explode as Kylo explored more of her with his tongue, lips, and teeth. She wound her fingers through his raven hair and felt a delicious heat creep up her spine. All he had to do was suck harder once more on her bundle of nerves before she felt herself contracting around him, a stream of arousal escaping to dribble down his chin. He stayed to lap up the errant juices before gently placing her feet back on the floor. 

He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before rising and claiming her mouth once more. She felt positively wicked tasting herself on his tongue, even more so for enjoying the salty tang. When they broke for air, he bent over and picked up her panties from their spot on the floor. “These are mine now,” he said with a wink as left her there, chest still heaving.

 

* * *

 

They found creative ways to spend more time with each other, out of the way places to explore each other’s bodies. The main tower was shockingly always empty, once used as a lookout for potential visitors, but now practically obsolete with the advent of cars and telephones. It did however make for a great love nest, even if the hardwood floor was less than comfy. Kira had smuggled a few threadbare blankets up there, ones that would have eventually been thrown out. She was thankful for the blankets now as Kylo thrusted into her mercilessly. She gripped his back tightly, surely leaving scratches. If he minded, he never said.

“Kylo, harder!” He never tired of hearing his name like this. Dutifully, he picked up his pace, snapping his hips against hers, the lewd sounds of their coupling filling the tiny room.

He smoothed her hair back from her face, and leaned in to kiss her, muffling her moans as she came. Following swiftly after, he pumped her full of his seed. “I love you, Kira.” He peppered her face with kisses, not wanting to pull out yet.

“I love you, so much.” Her hands were on his face and this had the potential to be a perfect moment if not for where they were, how they were reduced to meeting.

“Run away with me.” He rolled off of her and nestled her into his chest, circling his arms around her. They had a few minutes still before she would have to go back. He placed a soft kiss on her shoulder.

“I wish I could.” But couldn’t she? What did she have left here, anyway? Kylo was her everything. A tear escaped, and she was suddenly glad her face was turned away. “I’ll think about it.”

 

* * *

 

The temperature started to change, and the asylum braced for the holidays. Kira helped Rose hang some festive garlands and holly around to brighten up the mood a little. Things could get stressful around the holidays, but a little normalcy really seemed to help at a time like this. A real tree was even donated by someone from the town so they could set it in the front parlor for everyone to see. Rose was currently hanging tinsel on the tree, so Kira wandered off to make sure everything else was in place. 

“You’re standing under the mistletoe, nurse.” Kylo had perched himself against a doorway, managing to look deliciously appealing despite wearing what amounted to pajamas.

“How did that get there? I don’t remember hanging any mistletoe.”

“You didn’t. I did.” He grabbed her by the waist, dipping her low as he kissed her quickly. He set her back up before anyone could see and reached up, taking the decoration back down. 

Breathless, Kira felt her cheeks flame. “That was risky.”

“A risk I was willing to take.” He stepped closer, brushing a few stray hairs off her face and tucking them behind her ear. “I know what I want for Christmas.”

“What’s that?” she whispered, her face drawing closer to his.

“A night away from here, with you.” His eyes darkened, but he made no further moves. He hoped she could see how desperately he needed this, needed her.

Her gaze drooped downward. “Kylo, we can’t.”

She looked up when his hand closed around hers. “Why not? There will be a skeleton crew on duty and too much going on for anyone to notice us gone for one night. Let me take you to dinner, feel like a normal person for a change.” He had been in institutions long enough to know the routine.

It did sound nice; it sounded amazing, actually. She would love to put on a normal dress and go out on the town with Kylo, to call him her boyfriend in public. Hopeful eyes looked up to meet his. “I’ll try.”

“Great.” He leaned in the rest of the way and pressed his lips to hers all too briefly. At that moment Rose walked by, clearing her throat.

Kira ducked out of Kylo’s arms and followed the other nurse down the hall. “What did you see?” she asked in a harsh whisper.

“Nothing that I didn’t already know about.” A small smile played at the shorter woman’s mouth.

“You knew?”

“Not that anyone else would notice, but I see the way you two stare at each other when you think no one else is looking. I don’t know much beyond that, and I don’t care to. The less I know, the better.” She bumped a door open with her hip, her arms around the now empty box labeled “XMAS DECORATIONS.”

“So you won’t tell anyone?”

Rose leveled a glare at her. “Tell anyone what?” Then lower, “Just please be careful, Kira. I like you.”

“I like you, too.”

 

* * *

 

Kira smoothed the soft dress against her skin and perused her reflection in the small mirror she owned. It was a hunter green color, perfect for this time of year. Accentuated by a V-neck and cap sleeves, the slight ruching along the chest enhanced her small bosom quite nicely. The A-line skirt ended just below her knee, showing off her tan gams. She couldn’t wait to see the look on Kylo’s face when he saw her in it. 

She had it all worked out. They would make a brief appearance at dinner time so Kylo could be seen, then breeze out the back door. Rose was doing rounds at bedtime and wouldn’t report anyone missing - not that any of the other nurses would have noticed for that matter. They had lost a patient or two over the past few months and administration always swept it under the rug. Kira and Kylo would then hoof it into town for a nice dinner out and sneak back in before breakfast. What they did in between was completely up to them. It was cold, but it hadn’t started snowing yet, so they would be just fine.

Kira had raided the clothes of the patients that were brought into the asylum. All of them were kept in a room just in case. Miraculously, she managed to dig up a fashionable suit that looked like it would fit Kylo. She tucked it into her little bag and went to gather her beau. He was standing in the dining hall when she found him, watching the other patients mill about with their suppers. 

“Are you ready?” Her voice was low behind him.

He nodded, needing no words. She would slip out a side door and retrieve him from the back. Once Kira had left the room, he made his way to the exit. At the door, he looked around one last time, making sure no eyes were on him. Dr. Hux had just entered the room at the far corner, but Rose came around, touching his arm and diverting his attention.  _ God bless that woman _ , he thought as the door cracked open and he slid outside.

“I brought you something.” Kira was shoving a bundle into his arms. 

He unfolded the tailored suit. “This will do nicely. Thank you, my love.” Kylo kissed her briefly as they made their way to the copse of trees on the east side. 

In the clearing, she sat down on the bench. “Sorry you’ll have to change in the cold.”

The cold never really bothered Kylo that much. “It’s no problem. If it were warmer, maybe I’d make a show of it for you.” He started to disrobe slowly, wiggling his eyebrows and thrusting his hips suggestively.

Kira giggled. “Get on with it before we get caught, you big oaf.”

He pouted, but changed quickly, not saying another word.

It was something she would never have admitted, but Kira did like the idea of him stripping for her. She watched as more of him became exposed, his alabaster skin nearly glowing in the moonlight. She loved every inch of his body - his moles, bruises, and scars. It was imperfect, and in that, she found much beauty. Now fully clothed, he turned to face her, yanking on the coat lapels for good measure.

“How do I look?”

“Rather dashing. Let’s go.”

They weren’t able to use a vehicle, and no one ever picked up hitchhikers on the road that led to the asylum, so it was a long walk into town. Kira twined her hand with Kylo’s as they walked. At least one of her hands would be warm. Eventually it wasn’t enough and he pulled her in close to his side, wrapping one of his strong arms around her. 

It was later than normal dinner time when they made it into town, and only one place was open: Kanata’s Tavern. This was the perfect choice for them as it was run by an Asian immigrant and his black wife, meaning no one inside would be likely to report them to the authorities if they figured out who they were. Kylo opened the door for her, a perfect gentleman, and when he helped her with her coat, a little gasp escaped him.

“You look magnificent.” He took in the dark green dress, perfect for the season, and the way it accentuated every one of her curves. Never before this moment had Kylo considered himself a lucky man, but as he watched Kira spin around for him, he felt on top of the world. Her ruby red lips stood out in the low light of the tavern and he couldn’t wait to be kissing them again later.

“Thank you.” Her cheeks were flushed from the cold, but he could have sworn they turned a shade darker under his scrutiny.

“Table for two?” A woman approached, menus in hand. She was short and wore glasses, but underneath, her russet eyes were friendly. 

“Yes, please,” Kira answered. She assumed the woman must be Mrs. Kanata as she was the only other employee present, her husband situated behind the bar. A small child sat in a corner booth, playing with her dolls. Perhaps their daughter. 

It felt nice to be a normal couple. Mrs. Kanata never remarked on Kylo’s scar as she told them the daily specials and took their drink orders. Kira had a gin and tonic, her hankering for the cocktail having increased as of late. For Kylo, it was an old fashioned. It was one of the few alcoholic drinks he’d ever had, and so that’s what he ordered.

They both went with the special: meatloaf and mashed potatoes with a side of green beans. It was a hearty meal for this time of year and tasted better than anything served in the Takodana Sanatorium cafeteria. Kira made contented sounds as she ate, and Kylo thought it was the cutest thing he’d ever seen. Never had he felt as whole as when he was in her presence.

“Have you given any more thought about leaving with me?”

She stopped mid-bite. “Can’t we just have a nice night, Kylo?”

“Look, maybe for you there are other options. You can find other employment. If I died, you’d still have a normal life.” He took a sip of his drink before continuing. “I was resolved to eking out a meager existence until my inevitable early death, until you came along. Kira, I feel almost like a functional person around you. It makes me think... I don’t know, maybe we could have a semi-normal life together.”

Kira’s heartbeat was so loud, she was afraid the whole tavern would hear. She felt the same way. Her hand slipped across the table to entwine with his. “ Don’t talk like that. If you died, I would never be the same.” Then, releasing him, she asked, “Where would we go?”

He shrugged. The ‘where’ didn’t matter so much. “Somewhere in the country, get a little plot of land, raise chickens or something.”

A giggle escaped her lips. Oh how she wanted that. “That sounds nice. But with what money?” As it was, she saved every penny she made from working at the asylum, but it wasn’t much. 

“Start saving. I’ll think of something,” he said, grabbing her hand across the table. His heart already felt lighter, her words not an agreement, but at least it wasn’t a refusal.

They were so lost in each other, they didn’t hear the sound of small feet approaching their table. “Cool scar, mister.” The little girl who had been across the room was now at their side. She was lighter than her mother, with her father’s dark hair and curious eyes. “How’d you get it?”

“Maz, get back here!” Mrs. Kanata came over and shooed her daughter away. “Don’t be asking our guests rude questions.”

“That’s quite alright,” Kylo replied. “She didn’t mean anything by it.”

Mrs. Kanata smiled as she directed her daughter back to her booth. “You really should be in bed soon.”

Kira watched the whole exchange with amusement. She had no doubt that Kylo would be a good father. The only question was whether fate would be kind enough to grant them such a life.

 

* * *

 

Their movements were slower on the way back, neither of them wanting to break the enchantment of the evening. Taking his hand, Kira led Kylo back to the clearing in the trees. He hummed a tune and twirled her around, dancing in the moonlight. The melody kept coming as he gripped her hips tightly and she huddled close to him for warmth. They swayed back and forth for awhile before she looked up at him. “Merry Christmas, Kylo.”

“Merry Christmas, Kira.” He covered her lips with his own, tasting the lingering salty and sweet of their dinner. Clutching her tighter, he deepened the kiss, his tongue exploring the wet heat of her mouth. Little puffs of breath were visible in the chilly air as they broke apart.

“Sit down,” she commanded, edging him against the stone bench until he fell to sitting. “I need to give you your present.”

“Yes ma’am.” His grin was wicked, and Kira felt such love swell in her chest she thought she might burst.

Slowly, she reached up under her coat and dress and located her underwear, pulling them off with stilted movements. Her garter belt and stockings stayed on. “Unzip your pants.”

Kylo quickly complied, though slightly nervous to reveal himself in the cold night air. He needn’t have worried. 

Kira sucked in a breath rather quickly. She had seen him plenty of times by now, but she also knew how the cold tended to affect things. “Even in this weather? I’m impressed. You, sir, are a keeper.” She laughed as she straddled him on the bench and began to kiss him again. 

A soft chuckle left Kylo’s lips as well. His fingers wandered to her apex. “And you, my dear, are quite ready for this impressive beast.” He pulled his hand back, sucking his fingers clean before grabbing her hips to help guide her onto him. 

Kira’s hands were on his shoulders as she sank herself onto his cock. It had only been a few days since their last time together, but she sighed at the relief of being filled. “You feel so good, baby” she said as she started to grind herself on him. 

“Yes, ah- fuck.” He could never get enough of her, using his hands to help her rise off of him and back down. 

The nylon of her stockings started to catch on the stone bench as she thrust herself on her lover’s shaft. Kira was sure her shins would be bruised tomorrow, but it would be worth it. Her mouth found the juncture of Kylo’s neck and shoulder and she sucked there, biting down ever so slightly.

“God, Kira. You are amazing.” He smoothed back her sweat-logged hair from her face and peppered it with kisses. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

His chanting was like a hymn to her ears, and she felt herself growing closer to her release, the delicious tingle creeping up her spine with each movement. The air around them was icy, but it was searing hot where they were joined, the friction creating more than enough heat to warm them through. “Touch me, baby,” she pleaded.

“Anything for you.” His mouth was on her ear and before long, his thick finger found her swollen bud, circling tenderly, beckoning her to come with him. 

It was just the push she needed, crashing into her orgasm while clutching his taut back for dear life. Kylo felt her clench around him, milking his seed into her hot channel.  _ You are my everything _ , he thought as she begrudgingly pulled herself off of him and rearranged her dress and coat. She offered him her hand, pulling him up off the bench and into her arms. “That was incredible.” Her head rested on his still heaving chest and she relished the sound of his increased heartbeat. 

Lingering for just a moment more, Kylo buried his nose in her hair. She smelled like smoke, delicious food, and a hint of balsam. There was also the tang of exertion, the smell of Kira, that he was by now all too familiar with. He cherished the moment, knowing they would go back inside the asylum soon, and he would be a prisoner once more.

 

* * *

 

Bolting up in bed, Kira blinked quickly. Had she overslept again? Rose opened an eye and looked at her from across the room. She was on night duty again, so she had just gone to sleep. 

“Better get to it, or you’ll be late.” The other nurse rolled over and promptly went back to sleep.

  
Kira nodded to no one, a lead weight in her stomach. She tore the sheets off of her drenched body and ran to the lavatory. A feeling of dread settled over her after dumping the contents of her stomach into the toilet.  _ No, no _ . A glance to the calendar while she went about her rounds was the only confirmation needed. She was pregnant.


	5. Takodana, New York, present day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back with Rey and Ben this week... we are coming down the home stretch here soon, and I am so excited to share it with you! But also sad that it will be over soon.

_What a pleasant way to wake up_ , Rey thought. Ben’s sinewy arms were holding her tightly to himself, and she could feel his morning wood pressed up against her rear. _Holy hell, he’s huge_. Desire took over then, and she found herself trying to will him awake so they could fool around. Suddenly she heard him groan, felt his lips drag across her shoulder. “You stayed,” she whispered.

“Of course. I couldn’t leave you. Not with a murderer or _ghost_ murderer about.”

Rey giggled and turned over in his arms to face him. His hand smoothed up her arm and came to rest on her cheek. “Well, thanks for that,” she murmured

“God, how are you _this_ beautiful in the morning?” His eyes were full of wonder so she knew he was being genuine.

“Please.” She tried to roll her eyes, but his lips were on hers and they slid closed before she could say anything else. “Mmm, Ben,” she moaned in between kisses, then slid her tongue inside his mouth. Even after a night of sleeping, he didn’t taste sour or stale to her. Her hand worked its way down his torso and cupped him through his pants.

He groaned. “Rey-”

“Please? I want you so badly.” It wasn’t desperation so much as a _need_ to have him inside her. Her core pulsed around nothing, begging to be filled.

“I’m afraid,” he admitted, his mouth suckling down her neck to her collarbone.

“Of what?”

He stopped and looked deep into her eyes. “I’m afraid that once I have you, I can never go back. There will only be you.”

A lump caught in her throat and her eyes watered as she looked at him. Yes, this felt final. If they did this, she knew they would be bound. Not just in a physical way, but her soul would be united with his. Rey thought maybe she never did have a choice. Maybe the road was always going to lead to Ben. But as scary as it was, she was ready to give him all of her, to fall in love with someone so irrevocably. She brought her hand to his face. “And what’s so bad about that?”

A look like relief washed over him, and he was kissing her once more. If they were both broken people who finally found their other half, then why should they be afraid? Rey shuddered as his hands roamed up her dress, already rumpled up her thighs from sleeping. His hand spanned her stomach, setting her skin ablaze. He fingered the delicate underside of her breasts through her lacy bra, moaning when he made contact with her nipple. “I need this off,” he directed.

“I thought you’d never ask,” she said, sitting upright and yanking off her dress in one quick motion. It lay discarded on the floor as she undid the clasps of her bra. When the cool air of the cottage hit her breasts, Ben’s mouth dropped open. She flushed pink at his reaction.

“You’re perfect.” He placed a giant hand on her left breast, the whole thing fitting in his palm. His head ducked down to suck the other into his mouth, his tongue swirling deliciously around her nipple.

Her hands wound their way into his hair and she let out an appreciative hum. “You’re a bit overdressed, yourself.”

Ben quickly undid the buttons of his shirt, his former hesitation seemingly gone. As he bared his chest to her, Rey growled in satisfaction. “Yeah?”

“Yes, even better than I was imagining.” She ran her hands all over him, feeling the firmness of his pecs and abs. A delicate kiss was placed over his heart while Ben fumbled with his belt buckle.

Once he was down to his boxer briefs, he resumed his attentions on Rey’s breasts. “You’re so beautiful.”

His praise only served to make her want him more. Rey had always thought her breasts too small, had even been told so on occasion. “Need you, inside,” she panted.

He nodded, thumbing the hem of her panties and pulling them off. His finger easily slipped inside her wet folds as he started to tease her. His thumb circled her clit as he thrust a finger inside her opening.

“Ben,” she moaned, his large fingers filling her up so much better than her own. But she wanted all of him. Her hips bucked up as he added another finger to his thrusting. Her hands wandered to his waistband, pulling the underwear down and freeing his hard length. “Jesus Christ.”

He just smiled and picked up speed, bringing her over the edge with his fingers. Rey’s groans filled the room as she fluttered around his digits. Her excitement increased as she watched Ben withdraw them from her and lick them clean. “Fuck, you taste good.”

She didn’t have the wherewithal to reply as he pumped himself several times, then stopped. “Uh, I didn’t come here anticipating sex, so I don’t have-”

“It’s fine. I’m on birth control, and I’m clean.”

He sighed, clearly relieved. “Me too.”

And then he was pushing inside her. The stretch wasn’t painful- it was exquisite, Rey opening her thighs wider to receive him fully. “Fuck. Ben, you’re so huge.”

“Are you okay?”

“Oh god. More than okay. Please don’t stop.”

He thrust in the rest of the way until he bottomed out, moaning at the feel of her around him. Then he started to move, and oh it had been so long. For Rey, it felt like the first time, but better, because it wasn’t awkward or rushed. It was Ben and he was beautiful and filled her so perfectly. All too soon, she felt that tingling sensation up her spine and through her core. Every slide of his shaft inside her sent new shudders of pleasure through her body.

“Ben, I’m so close.” Her fingers dug into his back as he pistoned into her harder.

“Rey…” he kept repeating her name as he moved. His fingers found their way to her clit again and helped her along. Then she was coming apart around him, her walls contracting, urging him to come with her. He did so with a groan, spilling his release inside her.

Her eyes met his with a smile, the inevitable finally having happened. She felt so content with him still inside her. Rey hadn’t experienced this feeling before, but her brain was quick to put a name to it: love.

 

* * *

 

After, they had showered together. There was some kissing, but mostly they washed each other… and maybe Ben’s hand slipped when he got to the spot between her thighs, making Rey come again under the spraying water until it ran cold. Then they made coffee, putting it into travel mugs so they could embark on a stroll of the grounds.

“I know you probably don’t believe me, but that’s what I’ve found so far.” Rey had just finished explaining about the spirits she’d seen and what she’d uncovered in her research.

“I don’t know what to believe now, after last night… you said he looks like me?” He shook his head slightly in disbelief.

She nodded, swallowing thickly. There was fear that he wouldn’t understand, or think her crazy, and after she had given him all of her- well, she couldn’t bear to part with him now. “It’s uncanny, really.” The photo of Kira Kenobi was all she had, though. There was no picture of Kylo Ren around, only the one that existed in her mind. “I can show you the stuff I found, but I was thinking this could add an interesting angle to your story… and maybe you could help with the research? I’m sure you have access to databases I don’t.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ben muttered, scratching at the stubble that had appeared on his chin. Rey kind of liked it. He looked up suddenly, realizing they had walked around to the west side of the building. “What was in this wing?”

“Patient rooms, mostly. Some of the solitary confinement ones for the especially troubled.”

He barely registered hearing her as he opened the rusting door that was hanging off the hinges and strolled inside. Rey followed closely, watching as a seemingly possessed Ben walked purposefully to one of the rooms. She entered mere seconds after him, but stifled a gasp at the scene. The room looked like it hadn’t been touched since long before the Sanatorium closed down. It was covered in cobwebs and dust, but more disturbing was the old patient bed, rusted metal railings and a large bloodstain covering it. Some of the blood had even trickled down onto the floor, leaving blotches on the cement where it had soaked in.

“Ben?” she called to him softly.

He slowly turned to face her, hand trembling around the metal tumbler of coffee. His face was streaked with tears. She rushed in, flinging her arms around his thick torso and burying her face in his chest. “What’s wrong?” Moisture welled up at the edge of her eyelids, feeling such empathy for him.

“I- I don’t know. I barely remember walking in here, and then… I was just crying. Rey, I’m _so_ sad, but it’s not me.”

His head dropped down, and she pulled back so he could rest his forehead on hers. “Shh, it’s okay.” Her fingers raked through his hair as she tried to soothe him.

After a minute or two, he eased back up and took off his glasses, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. “Fuck. What happened here?”

Rey shrugged and looked at the scene once more before ushering him back out into the hall. “Death.”

She calmly led them back to her cottage, where Ben sat on the couch, head in his hands as he tried to comprehend what just happened. Rey put the kettle on for tea - old habits die hard - and contemplated ordering them something for lunch.

“Has that ever happened to you before?” His eyes were wide, looking almost boyish.

“Yes. Just the other day I wound up in the old tower. It wasn’t safe, but I had somehow climbed all the rickety old stairs. Then once I was up there, something touched me.”

“Jesus, Rey.”

“It wasn’t malicious. They don’t mean me any harm. They’re trying to tell me something.” She pulled the file out where she had gathered her research and brought it over to him.

He rifled through the pages and stared at the picture, then at Rey, then back down at the picture. “She looks exactly like you.”

“A few pounds heavier, but yeah.” Rey winced as she said it, but Kira definitely had at least a stone on her.

“Wait, Kira _Kenobi_?!” He emphasized the last name, it clearly having meaning to him.

“Yeah, why?”

“My grandfather, he died when I was just a boy. But my parents and uncle were always telling me stories about him. He had a mentor named Ben Kenobi. That’s who they named me after. He’s dead now, but he stayed around and helped my mom and uncle for a while when my grandfather died. I wonder… he wasn’t from Takodana, but he _was_ from New York. Could they be related?”

Rey released a long, slow breath. Was it possible? “I don’t know. It is an unusual last name.”

“I’ll call my uncle later. He might know a few things.” He seemed more energized now, and Rey was grateful for that. “You might be right about my story.”

She placed a hand on his thigh, rubbing him in a comforting gesture. “Great. Want some lunch? I’m starving.”

 

* * *

 

The cardboard box from Tony’s pizza sat on Rey’s table, most of its contents now missing. They had pored over the records she had printed out and searched for more information in the old database. Sadly, even with all of his nerd ways, Ben was not able to dig up anything more than she could. At an impasse, Rey decided to try another route. She pulled out her phone to text Finn.

 

> **Rey’s iPhone**
> 
> Hey!
> 
> You & Poe up for an impromptu investigation?

 

> **Finn**
> 
> Always, bb

 

> **Rey’s iPhone**
> 
> Spooky things the last few days
> 
> How do you feel about tonight?

 

> **Finn**
> 
> Lemme check with Poe but should be fine!

 

> **Rey’s iPhone**
> 
> Awesome!
> 
> Ben & I will prob join

She watched as the dots appeared and waited for his response, while her foot found Ben’s underneath the table and started to play with it.

 

> **Finn**
> 
> Ben the journalist?

 

> **Rey’s iPhone**
> 
> Yeah

 

> **Finn**
> 
> Cool! So he’s not bad then?

 

> **Rey’s iPhone**
> 
> Not at all
> 
> I like him… a lot

 

> **Finn**
> 
> Ooo do tell

 

> **Rey’s iPhone**
> 
> Text me if you can come

 

> **Finn**
> 
> Spoilsport

She rolled her eyes and looked over at Ben, who looked perfectly comfortable sitting at her dining table. It occurred to her that this wouldn’t be her home for much longer, and she wondered where that left them. He would surely go back to Hanna City, and what did Rey have left here? Not a whole lot. “So, he’s going to let me know if they can come.”

“Good. I think it would be really great for my piece to take part in an actual paranormal investigation. My editor will certainly be surprised.”

“Since you’re such a skeptic?”

He nodded. “Though, starting to become less of one.” His eyes grew serious, and Rey knew that whatever happened earlier had a deep effect on him.

“Hey,” she started, prompting him to look at her. “I had so many weird experiences when I first moved in. I kinda got used to it, but not everyone does. I think there’s a reason that you came here, Ben. Both into my life and to the asylum. I’d really like us to find out that reason together.”

His grin was lopsided as he said, “Yeah, me too.”

 

* * *

 

It hadn’t taken Poe long to say yes, Finn texting her back within the hour to let them know they would be there before sunset. He also said they’d bring dinner. Rey was slightly nervous. Finn and Poe were her only real friends and now she was introducing them to Ben, her - what was he, anyway? They hadn’t had a conversation about it, but ‘boyfriend’ seemed almost too childish for the connection they shared. ‘Soulmate’ seemed too corny, but that was what she felt deep down.

Ben had his hand at the small of her back as they walked through the musty corridors of the main building. She thought it was cute how protective he was being of her now that he believed there was something to protect her from. It was funny, but now that he was here, Rey felt a lot less scared of what might be lurking in the shadows. She doubted Ben felt the same, though, as she watched him keep sneaking glances off to the side.

“Did you see that?” he whispered.

“See what?”

“I thought I saw a shadow move in that room.”

She tried to stifle a giggle. _Welcome to my life_. “I didn’t see anything.” It wasn’t a lie, but she didn’t doubt that Ben had actually seen something.

They made their way to the large double doors at the front of the building just in time to hear the familiar crunch of gravel. Rey had come to associate the sound with seeing her friends, so it always gave her a good feeling. She laced her fingers with Ben’s as they descended the steps to meet their guests. Poe always drove, so Finn was already out of the van, one eyebrow cocked as he eyed their joined hands.

“Finn, this is Ben. Ben, this is Finn. And that guy,” she said, pointing at the man just now exiting the driver’s side, “is Poe.”

“Nice to meet you.” Ben let go of her hand to shake Finn’s and then Poe’s.

“Likewise. So you’re a journalist, huh? What publication do you write for, anything we might have heard of?” Finn launched into the questioning immediately while Poe ran around back to start unloading their gear.

“ _Finalizer_? It’s sort of a combo history and travel journal. Takodana is actually moving up the list of vacation destinations so they thought this would be a good piece.”

He nodded, clearly in thought. “I see, and what are your intentions towards our Rey here?”

“ _Finn_!” Rey’s eyes widened considerably.

Ben laughed, not put off at all by the question. “Well, I can’t speak for Rey, and we’ve only been on one official date…” he trailed off as he turned to look in her eyes. “But I’m here for as long as she wants, and I’ll take whatever she chooses to give me.”

A lump started forming in her throat as she realized the depth of emotion behind his chocolate eyes. She thought it was very likely that his feelings for her matched the gravity of her own, but it was much too soon to be making declarations of love. So, she did the only thing she could think of and pressed her lips to his, rising up on her toes to wrap her arms around his neck.

“Eww, gross. Okay, I approve. Please stop the PDA.” Finn feigned disgust as he grabbed a bag from Poe.

“Are you done with the interrogation, _mi amor_? Care to help me set up some things?” Poe rolled his eyes, and Finn followed him inside the building.

“They seem nice,” Ben said once his mouth was no longer occupied.

Rey giggled, grabbing his hand to lead him back into the asylum.

“Hope you guys like Thai.” Poe grabbed a plastic bag from his pile of gear and set it on the old rotted coffee table. The room they were now in used to be the front parlor. And old piano with missing keys sat in the corner; sometimes Rey swore she heard faint music coming from this area, but she never told anyone about it.

“Want to come back to my cottage to eat?” She felt obliged to offer, even though she guessed what the answer would be.

“What, and miss out on this ambiance?” Finn was unpacking a couple blankets. “We came prepared, as usual. What if food is a trigger object for the ghosts?”

Ben looked incredulous. “You want to eat… in here?”

Poe shrugged. “Why not? We’ve done more than that in worse conditions.”

Rey’s nose crinkled. “Gross. Please don’t elaborate.”

It turned out pad Thai and panang curry didn’t taste any different when you ate it inside an abandoned insane asylum. They were all spread out on the parlor floor, eating, laughing, and drinking Thai iced tea. Electric lanterns provided the mood lighting, as the sun had set shortly after they arrived. Rey had been a little bit worried about Ben, as he struck her as a one-on-one type of person, but he seemed to be enjoying himself. The more he smiled, the deeper she fell for him. It was like the missing pieces of herself were finally falling into place. She could only hope he was feeling the same way.

Poe had just finished telling another gloriously filthy joke when they were interrupted by a loud bang from the west wing. Everyone stopped mid-bite to stare at each other. “Grab the recorder,” he ordered Finn as he took off in the direction of the noise. Rey followed after them.

“So that’s something they just do, run towards the scary noises?” Ben’s voice followed after her but she didn’t pay attention, eager to see what Finn and Poe would discover. She watched them conduct a brief EVP session in the area where they thought the sound had come from.

Ben never did join them, and Rey started to worry. She left Finn and Poe to it, returning back down the corridor in search of him. He wasn’t in the parlor. “Ben?” she called out into the darkness, frantically starting to look in every room. After trying three different rooms, the panic seeped in and she yelled louder, “BEN?”

Her peripheral vision registered movement and she whipped around to see Ben staggering towards her, white as a sheet. “Rey?” His voice was hoarse, barely above a whisper.

“What is it?” She ran to him, running her hands over his arms. He was cold. “What did you see?”

He looked down at her, his pupils dilated in fear. “Sh- she looked just like you, Rey.”

“You saw Kira?”

He nodded, slowly returning to himself. “She called me ‘Kylo’. Said I needed to ‘find out what happened to him,’ whoever _him_ is. And… and she grabbed me.” Slowly, he rolled up his shirt sleeve. There, unmistakably were a couple small bruises. Rey wrapped her hand gingerly around his arm and the marks lined up perfectly with her own fingers.

“Holy shit, Ben.”

Just then, Finn and Poe caught up with them. “What the fuck is going on?” It was said nearly in unison, their voices overlapping.

“Ben saw a ghost.” Rey had her arm around him now, rubbing circles along his spine. “Do you need to go back to my cottage?”

He had calmed down considerably by now and his face hardened. “No. There’s definitely something going on, and I want to figure out what. Let me show you where I saw her.”

“It was a her?” Finn looked excited, grabbing the recorder from Poe and hurrying off after Ben.

“You know, renovation can often heighten activity at a place. Maybe they know what’s coming?” Poe asked Rey.

They followed the others to where Ben was leading. “I thought maybe that’s what was going on, but I think it’s more than that. Most of this started the day Ben showed up. I think he sparked the flame.”

 

* * *

 

They wound up conducting another EVP session in the area where Ben had seen Kira’s ghost. After cleaning up where they had eaten and setting the cameras for the night, everyone went back to Rey’s cottage. She figured Finn and Poe would want to see the other information she had printed out, including the picture.

“Holy shit, she does look like you.” Finn handed the picture to Poe and began to rub his eyes. It was late, and it had been an eventful day.

“She didn’t look like that when I saw her,” Ben intoned. “She was thinner and her dress was covered in blood.”

“You just failed to leave this part out before?” Poe questioned him. Rey shot him a warning glance. “Right, sorry. Guess it was a traumatic experience.”

Ben nodded, rubbing his face. “I can’t stop thinking about it. The blood was all over her lower half. I wonder if in this picture, she may have been pregnant.”

Rey grabbed the photo again, looking more closely at Kira. There was a slight swelling of her abdomen. Before, she had just assumed she was a little heavier, nothing wrong with that. On closer inspection, though, she had to admit - Ben might be right. “Oh my god. I didn’t even consider that.” It made so much sense now. Her dream and the connection to Kylo. They were lovers, and they had a child. “I searched the records, though. Wouldn’t it be listed if Kira had given birth?”

“Do you know how many things went down at these places that never got recorded? I wouldn’t bet on it.” Ben scratched his chin, something Rey noticed him doing when he was processing something. “It didn’t say how she died, right?”

“No, there was no cause of death listed. Only that she died on the grounds.” Rey rested her chin in her hands, completely forgetting that Finn and Poe were still there.

“Maybe it was a botched abortion then. That kind of thing happened a lot back then.” Ben’s head drew closer to hers.

“But what if she had the baby? Maybe they want us to find out what happened to it.”

Poe cleared his throat, reminding them both of their presence. “Well, it seems you two have a lot to talk about, so we’ll just head back to the main building then. Finish out the investigation.”

“Okay,” Rey answered, letting them out the front door. “Let me know if you find anything good.”

 

* * *

 

The next few days went by in a blur. Besides a few unintelligible voices, nothing of use turned up from Finn’s and Poe’s investigation. Ben refused to let Rey sleep alone and had checked out of his hotel room, essentially moving in with her for the remainder of his stay. He had left a message for his uncle, asking about his namesake, Ben Kenobi. Now they just had to wait to hear back.

Ben finally got the call one morning, waking them both from a deep slumber. He went outside to take it, urging Rey to go back to sleep. She tried, but it was no use. Begrudgingly, she started coffee and waited for Ben to return. After thirty minutes and two cups of coffee, she gave up waiting and decided to go look for him. A smile crept across her face as she made her way to the stone bench and found him seated there.

“Okay, yeah. You too. Bye.” He turned around as if sensing her presence. “Rey.”

“Brought you some coffee.” She sat down beside him.

“Thank you.” He kissed her lightly before taking a long swig.

“What did he have to say?”

“He said old Ben did have a foster sister. He didn’t talk about her much because she died while he was off fighting in World War II and he always felt guilty about not being there for her. Uncle Luke didn’t know her name. He says my grandfather probably would have, and he’ll look through some of his old stuff to see if he can find anything.”

“Well, that’s something at least, right?”

He nodded. “Not enough, but it’s a start. Rey, it’s really eating at me now. I feel like this has something to do with me, and you, with _us_.”

“I know, me too.” She rested her head on his shoulder.

“I just don’t know what to think anymore. I would really rather _not_ think for a while.” He nudged her head until she looked up at him, and then captured her lips with his own.

Rey moaned as his tongue slid into her mouth; they both tasted like Cafe Bustelo. Her fingers wandered to Ben’s hair, threading delicately through his soft waves. She was almost jealous that his hair was so much better than hers. He mouthed down her throat, kissing and suckling his way down to her collarbone. “Ben,” she murmured as he toyed with her breast through her thin nightgown.

Before she realized what was happening, he was falling to his knees on the ground in front of her, spreading her legs as he moved his hands up her thighs. He looked up at her expectantly. “Please, Rey? I need this.”

Who was she to deny him? She nodded and bit her lip as he gripped her, shuffling her to the edge of the bench and lifting up the hem of her nightie. She hadn’t thought to put panties on yet and felt the cool morning air against her cunt as Ben spread her out even more and licked a languid stripe up her slit. “Oh god.”

This was something they hadn’t done yet, and Rey leaned back as the flat of his tongue sent the most amazing shivers down her spine. She had to set her hand down on the bench so as not to fall over and injure herself. The evidence of her arousal could be heard as Ben nipped and licked at her slick folds, the squelching noises somehow turning her on even more. Her legs were draped over his shoulders and her heels dug into his back as his tongue dipped into her opening, his nose nudging her clit deliciously. “Don’t stop,” she urged him through her panting, head thrown back in ecstasy.

The sunlight warmed her face and Rey was nearly delirious with pleasure as Ben slipped his finger inside her, then another. His digits continued to thrust, reaching for the spongy tissue inside while his tongue returned to her bundle of nerves. She cried out as she came, the sunshine nearly blinding and a warm, wet sensation below she’d never experienced before. Ben finished with one long, last lick and sat back. His hand came up to wipe his face off and he sighed. “Thank you,” he said like she’d just given him a gift.

“Are you kidding? Thank _you_ ,” she said as she pulled him back up and kissed him again. Seated beside her again, it made it easier for her to run her hands over his muscular shoulders. “What about you?”

“Uh, that kind of isn’t a problem anymore.” Looking down, Rey saw a wet stain on his sleep pants. He had come just from going down on her. When she looked back up, he looked sheepish.

“God, you’re amazing.” She kissed him for all he was worth, which was a whole damn lot in her opinion. “We’ll figure this out together, Ben. I just know it.”


	6. Takodana, New York, 1940s

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof. Here we are, penultimate chapter, guys. Some big stuff goes down in here, and not just reveals. I have to forewarn you, I bawled like a baby writing this.

Kira paced around her room a few more times. How was she going to break the news to Kylo? Would he be angry or excited? They definitely couldn’t run away now. It would have to wait until after the baby was born. She knew the safest place for her to give birth would be in the sanatorium. They had the appropriate facilities, and she was sure Rose would help. Actually, she’d need Rose to help keep her secret. If Dr. Hux found out… then again, Dr. Hux had been making himself scarcer and scarcer these days, really only making an effort on the days Dr. Snoke would be visiting.  _ Maybe this could work after all _ .

She found herself gazing at the window as she worried for the future. Imagining a farm somewhere, their child running around in the grass, brought a smile to Kira’s face. She had always wanted a family, and one with Kylo would be amazing. They would both be so happy; the two of them and their little son or daughter. A breath of relief left her. She would tell him today.

While making her rounds at lunchtime, Kira discreetly slipped him a note. Kylo waited until he was sure no one was watching before unfolding it. ‘Meet me in our supply closet when you’re finished with lunch’ was the message. He smirked to himself, expecting a romantic rendezvous. A few minutes later, he cleaned up after himself and headed that way.

Letting himself into the closet, Kylo found Kira already there. He quickly drew her into a heated embrace and kissed her soundly. “Miss me?”

“Always.” It was dark in the closet so he couldn’t see the trepidation on her face.

His hands roamed her body. It had been a couple days since they’d last been intimate, and he always felt like a thirsty man in the desert where Kira was concerned. When he reached the swell of her breasts, his sharp intake of breath made her jump. “Kira, your  _ breasts _ . Are they bigger?”

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about… I’m pregnant, Kylo.”

He felt his eyes start to well up. “What?”

“I’m going to have a baby, your baby.”

He flung his arms around her and held her tightly, the tears starting to flow. For Kylo, this was impossible, incredible news. He had never felt loved in all his life before Kira, and now there would be another small person to share in that love. “I love you so much.”

She leaned into his neck, taking comfort in his scent as she started to cry. “So you’re not mad?”

“Why would I be mad? Kira, I’m overwhelmed… but I’m happy. I never thought I would be happy, but you make me so every single day.”

Sniffling, Kira wiped at her tears. “But this means we can’t leave until the baby’s born. It will be safer that way.”

He nodded. “Of course, whatever you need. We’ll leave as soon as the baby comes and find somewhere to raise him… or her.”

Relieved, Kira gripped him tightly as his lips found hers. Kissing led to other things and soon she found herself up against the wall, skirt hitched up around her waist as Kylo pushed inside her. There was no time for tenderness as they hadn’t scheduled this tryst, Kylo’s thrusts quick and deep, pants around his ankles.

The smell of arousal filled the small space, and the air was punctuated with their soft grunts and groans, trying to be as quiet as possible. They both cried as they came, filled with uncertainty about the future but overjoyed at the life growing inside of her. “I love you,” she whispered as he wiped away her tears.

 

* * *

 

Spring was in full bloom in Takodana. Kira took advantage of the weather, taking frequent strolls around the grounds, usually with the patients. Of course, Kylo would always be with the group wanting some time outdoors. She hadn’t told Rose yet, but knew she was running out of time. Her uniform was growing tighter, and she would need the other nurse’s help to procure a bigger size.

It turned out, she didn’t need to broach the subject herself. Kira had just put her nightgown on after her routine visit to Kylo to help him sleep. It was nice outside, so she had just opened the window to let in the night breeze when Rose came into their room. “How far along are you?”

Swallowing, she let her hand rest on her slightly extended stomach. “Maybe four months? I’m not quite sure. I was planning on telling you, but I hadn’t found the right time.”

“Were you going to tell me when you went into labor?”

Kira turned around and saw the smile on Rose’s face. “You’re teasing me.”

“Of course I am! How many times have I had to tell you I’m on your side?”

“I’m sorry.” She sat on the edge of her bed. “I just didn’t know what to do. On the one hand, I’m so happy to be having Kylo’s baby. On the other, it just makes everything so much harder.”

“What are you going to do?” Rose was now sitting as well.

“We were planning to run away, but now that I’m pregnant, I want to wait till the baby’s born. I know this is the best place for me to give birth.”

Rose nodded. “Do you think it will be safe, you and him out in the world?”

“I know how it looks, Rose. But Kylo… he’s not crazy. He was troubled before coming here, but no one ever took the time to understand him. I see him completely, and he sees me. Haven’t you noticed the change in him?”

“Honestly? I’ve never had problems with him. And he’s been even helpful, recently. I sometimes forget he’s a patient. Dr. Hux says Snoke has an eye on him, though. I think his benefactors were important. I know he’s going to request a lobotomy soon. You two need to run sooner than later if that’s your plan.”

“But my baby-”

“I’ll help you give birth, but then you need to go. I don’t think it’s safe here for him, or you. My sister used to say I could read people really well…”

“I didn’t know you had a sister.”

“Well, she passed away.”

Kira moved from her bed to Rose’s, putting her arm around the other nurse. “Oh I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine. It was a while ago.” Rose took Kira’s hand. “My point was, I’ve sort of come to think of you as a sister. And I just want what’s best for you.”

The two hugged each other tightly for a good long while before climbing into their respective beds to sleep. The wind picked up as the night wore on, turning the room so chilly that Rose had to get up and close the window. She frowned at the shadows on the lawn before going back to bed. She had a bad feeling about the months ahead.

 

* * *

 

As spring rolled over into summer, Dr. Snoke’s visit to the asylum increased. His lobotomy technique had really taken off, necessitating the use of a special vehicle he jokingly referred to as the ‘lobotomobile.’ It turned Rose’s stomach. She kept up with the news; many were praising Snoke for his great success. Was it really success if twenty percent of your subjects failed to live through the procedure? She kept a closer eye on Dr. Hux these days, trying to discern if they had scheduled Kylo yet. It was nearly worth the painful attempts at flirting if she could gather information to bring back to Kira.

Kira was grateful for anything Rose could tell her. She was getting bigger and it was a struggle just to get through her rounds, let alone to hide it from everyone. Her uniform was bigger and blousier, but she knew some of the other nurses had to suspect. If they did, they didn’t say a thing. Truth be told, the asylum was too short staffed for anyone to care about her condition. Kira might be worried about that if she wasn’t so concerned with the health of her baby.

“I think it’s a boy.” Her head was resting on Kylo’s shoulder as they sat side by side in their favorite place. 

“What makes you say that?”

“Just a feeling. I hope he’s as handsome as you.”

Kylo laughed and pressed a kiss to her hairline. “Respectfully, I hope he looks more like you.”

“That’s fair, but you have to know how beautiful you are to me.” She shifted so she could look into his deep brown eyes, always so soulful. 

His hand came up to caress her face. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” He kissed her sweetly, savoring this moment in the afternoon sun. 

“Oh!” Kira disengaged from him and brought his hand to her belly. “Did you feel that?”

He waited, his large hand spread out across her abdomen until he felt it, the baby kicked. “Oh, we’ve got a fighter on our hands.”

His smile stretched wide and Kira basked in the glow of it, the action seen so rarely on her beloved. “Just like his daddy.” She sighed and relaxed into his arms. They stayed there silent until she had to return to her duties.

 

* * *

 

Any day now, Kira would go into labor. She was sure of it. Technically, she shouldn’t be due for another month or so, but she felt ready to burst. They were all set to leave in a couple weeks, as soon as the baby was born, they would be on their way to a new life. Each night as she sat at Kylo’s bedside, now more out of habit than necessity, they would whisper their plans to each other. He dreamt about the types of crops that he would grow on their farm, and Kira mused over the animals they would raise - she was dead set on procuring chickens and goats first.

A sense of dread fell over Kylo, though he tried not to let his beloved see. Nothing in his life had ever gone right, and though the past year had been his best on record, he was certain the other shoe was about to drop. There was no way cruel fate would let him have his happy ending with Kira. He knew this deep down, but carried on for her sake. He would do anything to make sure she and their child would have a good life. 

It was if the whole facility could feel the darkness as Dr. Snoke descended on the asylum that fateful summer day. Rose woke up with start, pain in her chest. She looked over to Kira, who was inspecting her undergarments. “Spotting is normal, right?”

Rose nodded. She had been a midwife for a little while, so she had been Kira’s rock through her pregnancy. “Yes, but we’ll keep an eye on it.”

Kira looked solemn as she readied herself for the day.   
  


Up in the front office, Dr. Snoke consulted with Dr. Hux. “Are you quite sure it has to be today? We didn’t have him scheduled until next month.” The younger doctor looked through his calendar and back to his associate. Hux wasn’t overly fond of Snoke, to put it mildly. But his visits helped keep the asylum running, so he rarely complained.

“Yes, Mr. Ren’s benefactors have made it clear they’d like him to return home after the procedure and they are going abroad soon, so they need it done as soon as possible.”

“Okay then, I’ll have the patient prepared and sent to you.”

Neither men were aware of the nurse standing outside the office, listening through the door that was slightly ajar. She took off running down the musty halls, looking for her only friend in the whole godforsaken place.   
  


Kira had to speak to him. She didn’t care if they were caught. Something was wrong with her, or the baby, or both. It wasn’t clear, but she knew something was off. “Kylo!”

He turned, eyes wide with shock as he saw her expression. “Kira, my love, what’s wrong?”

They turned into the nearest room where she promptly flung herself into his arms. “I’m not sure. I was spotting this morning, and I know Rose says it’s normal… but I think he’s going to come early.”

“Shh,” he murmured softly as he stroked her hair. “Rose knows what to do. You need to trust her. Everything is going to be just fine.”

Kira nodded, looking up at him, eyes brimming with tears. “I know. I know, I’m just scared, Kylo.”

“Me too,” he admitted. “But we have each other, and that’s the most important thing.” Then, before he let her go, he leaned down and captured her lips in a searing kiss.

Kira grasped at her lover, desperately, weaving her fingers through his hair as she deepened their kiss. She had missed this- the taste of his rough tongue moving against hers, the subtle scratch of his stubble. They were out of breath by the time they pulled apart. “I love you, Kylo.”

“I love you more.” His heart heaved as he released her to go off to her rounds.  _ I always will _ . He stood there dazed, feeling like he didn’t know what to do next when Rose burst into the room.

“There you are. I’ve been looking for you. Dr. Snoke has moved your lobotomy to today. You need to find a place to hide or take Kira and run.”

The dread he had been feeling became like a heavy stone in his stomach. So this was it, then. “Kira is in no condition to leave.”

“I know, but… what will you do?” He always liked Rose. She had treated him kindly and kept his secrets. 

“I’ll hide, like you said. Would you check on Kira for me?”

“Sure. Take care of yourself, Kylo.”

He nodded as Rose left, but didn’t leave the room. If he hid somewhere, they’d send a search party, and he certainly didn’t need anyone sniffing around Kira or their child. No, he would stay right here. Folding himself into a cross-legged position on the floor, he sat and went over his favorite memories. That was how Dr. Hux found him. He frowned as he entered the room with a gurney and two orderlies. It was almost like he didn’t want to do this, either.

“It’s time, Kylo.”

Kylo nodded and let them strap him down.

 

* * *

 

Rose had looked everywhere for Kira. She had been all over the asylum. Wondering where she could have possibly run off, she ventured outside. A little caretaker’s cottage sat on the edge of the property. The older man who lived there was very nice, and she remembered that Kira would sometimes pay him visits. 

As she grew nearer to the small house, she saw a trail that went off into the woods. Something told her that’s where her friend had gone. She took off down the path and before long found herself in a clearing, an almost perfect circle in the middle of the trees with a small stone bench in the center. There on the bench sat Kira, her fists in her skirts, twisting them tightly.

“Kira?”

“Rose… I’m sorry. I had to get outside for a bit.”

“Well, fresh air is good for you and the baby. Look, you and Kylo need to get out of here quickly. It’s up to you whether you want to leave in this state, but Dr. Snoke is here and moved up the procedure to today. I told him to hide, but-”

“What?! Rose, we can’t let Kylo have the procedure!”

“I know! Listen, it will be okay. He’s going to hide. If worse comes to worse, I could always send him away and you could meet him once you have the baby.”

“No. We leave together. Maybe we can go tonight.” She rose up from the bench and walked towards Rose, but misstepped and had to learn on the shorter woman for support. “No, no… not now.” Kira squeezed her eyes shut, a tear escaping as she felt liquid trickling down her legs. She had been in pain all day, but thought it was just stress.

“What is it?” Rose asked, face ashen in horror.

“I think my water just broke.”

They hobbled back to the main building together, Rose leading her to the west side instead of the east, where they always entered. “I know an empty room in the west wing. I’ve been preparing it for you.”

Kira nodded as she concentrated on breathing. Rose had thought of everything. Maybe she would be okay.

 

* * *

 

The gurney was restrictive. He was unable to move, his arms and legs bound by the leather straps attached to the metal bars. Kylo was taking deep breaths as they pushed him down the long hall to Dr. Snoke’s makeshift office, where the old doctor would jab into his brain with an icepick. He bore no illusions about the procedure. Sure, plenty of patients survived, but once part of your brain had been rendered ineffective, are you even really the same? He only wished he could have had just a little more time with Kira, to see their son or daughter born. The name Anna had a nice ring to it, for a girl. He knew if it was a boy, Kira would most likely name him Ben after her foster brother. Either one would be nice.

As much as he wanted to see his little baby - whether it had Kira’s dazzling hazel eyes or his dark brown ones - he was almost certain this was the end of the line for him. He’d known all his life he wasn’t long for this world; maybe in another life he would get to have all the things he’d dreamed of. He was just thankful for the love he shared with Kira. Their bond was sacred and true, and no one would ever take it away or deny its existence. Especially since soon there would be flesh and blood evidence of it. He ignored the saccharin greeting of Dr. Snoke, knowing the wrinkly old maniac had it out for him since the beginning. He would croon about how Kylo would be so different after the procedure, a changed man. 

He was already a changed man. Kira had seen to that. The paint on the walls was chipped, he noted, trying to divert attention to literally anything else in the room besides the cold steel table with its sharpened instruments and the leering gaze of the man who would be using them very shortly. Turning his head, he tuned out the orderlies conversing with the doctor and looked at the clock on the back wall. It was just after noon. He was not aware that on the other side of the building, Kira was having contractions. Still, his thoughts focused on her - the feel of her body against his, the taste of her on his tongue, the beat of her heart when he placed his head on her breast. When Snoke told him to look into the light, he just saw Kira. As he poised the pick above his eye socket, he heard Kira telling him she loved him. His last thought as the instrument was shoved into his brain was Kira.  _ Kira _ .   
  


“Kylo!” Her scream echoed off the wall of the room as another contraction ripped through her body. Were they supposed to be this painful?

“Kira, honey, you have to quiet down. No one knows we’re here, and we don’t want anyone to take your baby, right?”

“Right, I’m sorry.” The sweat fell in rivulets down her forehead, off her face, over her chest. She was sweating all over. “Is it supposed to hurt this much?”

No it wasn’t. Rose knew from her days as a midwife. This wasn’t a regular pregnancy. Kira was in labor early, and losing a lot of blood. She seriously worried for her fellow nurse, but there was nothing to be done. All the other nurses were occupied, short staffed as they were, and the worst part was Dr. Snoke was onsite all day to perform lobotomies. She couldn’t ask anyone to assist in the birth. Instead she rubbed Kira’s back and brought a cool cloth to her forehead. She lied, “I’m sure it’s fine.”

But it wasn’t fine. Another hour and so much more blood stained the once white sheets. Kira’s breathing was coming in ragged, her chest heaving with each intake of air. The rasp in her voice as she wheezed told Rose it wouldn’t be long. “Just one more push, honey. I know you can do it.”

The woman let out a guttural cry as she pushed with all her might. Soon a newborn’s cry filled the room. “Ah,” she breathed. “I did it.” A weak smile lit up Kira’s features, reminding Rose what a joyful person she’d always been, how exceptional she was as a nurse.

“You certainly did.” Rose snipped the umbilical cord and wrapped the baby in a blanket. “And you have a beautiful baby boy to show for it.”

“He’s a boy?” Kira held her arms out, weak as they were, wanting to see her son. “I knew it. I felt it.”

“Not just a boy, a very handsome and healthy one at that.” Rose smiled as she set the infant in Kira’s arms.

A wonder-filled laugh left her mouth. “Well, look at you.” She cooed as she rocked him close to her chest. “You’ve got your daddy’s nose.” That was probably the only thing, though. His skin tone matched her own, but his hair was lighter than both hers and Kylo’s, and his eyes were a shocking shade of blue. They could darken later on, but Kira thought they were the most beautiful eyes she’d ever seen.

“If you’re feeling up to it, you can see if he’ll eat some.” Rose stood nearby, watching her intently. It gave Kira an odd feeling.

“Hey there, fella. Want to eat?” Kira directed her newborn to her breast, and he latched on almost right away, drinking a hefty fill. It hurt a little at first, but soon after she savored the feeling of caring for her child. As happy as she was, she was also exhausted. Surely he wouldn’t mind if she nodded off for just a little bit.

Rose had turned around to clean up a little. “So have you thought of a name?” Not receiving a response, she swiveled back and her heart broke into a million pieces. Kira had her eyes closed, her newborn nestled closely, still suckling at her breast. She calmly walked over and placed her fingers on Kira’s neck. Frowning, she picked up the infant, who started to cry. “Shhh, little one. It’s gonna be okay. Mama’s just resting.”

She bounced the little boy as she carried him, rubbing his back until he burped. A sheet came up to cover Kira’s lifeless body. Rose figured she could deal with that later. The baby was her top priority. Across the campus she walked calmly, the little bundle now asleep in her arms. There was no time to lose. She couldn’t let Dr. Hux or any other superior see the child. It wasn’t an entirely long walk to her destination, but it was long enough without a vehicle. By the time Rose arrived and knocked on the door, she was sufficiently out of breath, her cheeks red with exertion.

The woman slowly opened the door, her face brightening when she saw Rose. “Hello, my dear! What brings you to my door?”

She cautiously peeled back the blanket, revealing the sleeping newborn. “I was hoping you could help me, Mama.”

The older woman opened the door wider, allowing them entry. “Please, the patients call me that. My name is Shmi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh so what did you think? I promise it gets better in the last chapter!


	7. Takodana, New York, present day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter, here we go! Thank you to everyone who has read this story and shared it. I appreciate you all so much! Hopefully we're making up for all the angst last chapter with this resolution.
> 
> Thanks to [KyloTrashForever](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyloTrashForever/pseuds/KyloTrashForever) for this gorgeous moodboard!

It had to be here. Here felt important. It always had. Rey stared at the ground in front of her as she sat on the stone bench, her tailbone starting to ache from how long she’d been sitting there stock-still. Ben was in town; he had wanted to talk to Maz again, to interview her. Rey knew this was something he needed to do alone, and besides, they had been joined at the hip (among other places) for the last couple weeks. In a few days, the demolition crew would arrive to start tearing down the place.

Suddenly a wave of inspiration struck her. After a short trip back to her cottage, she returned with a shovel and started digging at the base of the bench. She felt a bit crazed, knowing how she must look, her hair falling out of place, the sweat rolling down her neck, staining the armpits of her t-shirt. It didn’t matter. Only one thing mattered: finding out the truth before this place was gone. Kira and Kylo were trying to tell her something. She just didn’t know what.

She dug and dug until finally a clink of her shovel against metal caused her to stop, a frenzied laugh ripping out of her lungs. She got down on her knees and reached into the hole, retrieving a small metal box. It was caked with dirt and a little rusted over, but still in relatively good condition. She brushed it off and opened it. Inside was a letter and two pictures. The first picture was Kira and Kylo, no question about it. They had their arms around each other and looked incredibly happy. And whereas before, it had been just conjecture, here it was absolute: she was extremely pregnant.

Rey sat back on her haunches, floored by this confirmation. Of course. So many things made sense now - hearing the baby cry, the bloody hospital bed, Kira’s ghost asking Ben to find out what happened to ‘him’- this was the reason why the spirits were so eager for her to know the truth. She looked at the other picture. It was a woman in her late 30s or early 40s holding a smiling baby boy with a full head of coppery hair. The back of the photo read “Shmi ‘Mama’ Skywalker and baby Anakin.”

_Skywalker? Wasn’t that Ben’s uncle’s last name?_ He had briefly mentioned his uncle’s name, but she couldn’t be sure. He also talked about the grandfather he had never gotten to know. Tears stung her eyes as she realized they had to be one and the same. There could be no other explanation. The first time she saw Kylo was the day Ben showed up, when his flesh and blood set foot on the property. She settled down even more in the dirt, opening the letter.

> _September, 1943_
> 
> _To Whom It May Concern:_
> 
> _My name is Rose Tico, and I am a nurse at Takodana Sanatorium. A lot of things happen here. Some are good, but to be honest, it’s mostly bad. There isn’t much I can do about that. I do my best to help the patients I can and mourn for the ones I can’t. If you’re reading this letter, it means you found its hiding place, so I can only assume it will be sometime in the future. Kira Kenobi was the best damn nurse I ever had the pleasure of working with here at the asylum. She cared for her patients and did the best she could by all of them. And for one of the patients in particular, she became his whole world._
> 
> _When Kylo Ren arrived at the asylum, he had a history of being violent, difficult, unruly. All that changed after meeting Kira. From what I understand now, the two of them fell deeply in love and hid their affair from everyone. I found out later that they were planning to run away together to raise their child. Sadly, they never got that opportunity. Kylo Ren died from a botched lobotomy on the same day that Kira died from complications during childbirth. Not wanting a terrible fate for their child, I gave him to local widow, Shmi Skywalker. She is a regular fixture at the asylum, coming to play piano for the patients. They all call her Mama, so it seemed fitting. No one will ever know that he isn’t her child. No one but her and myself. And now you, whoever you are._
> 
> _I don’t know why I’m writing this letter. It feels dangerous to have it documented, but I also know that it feels wrong to not tell their truth somewhere. Their love was beautiful, and more than I’ll probably ever get to know in this life. I thought someone should read their story and think a few thoughts for them. I hope that wherever they are, they are together._
> 
> _Sincerely,_
> 
> _Rose Tico_

A drop fell, staining the decades old paper in Rey’s hand. When she looked up, she was met with a surprise. She rubbed at her eyes, quickly, but they were still there. Kira and Kylo, standing in the clearing with their arms around each other, smiling at Rey. Their forms were translucent in the midday sun, but she could definitely see them. They looked at each other, such love in their eyes, before turning to Rey again as if to say “thank you.” Then they disappeared from view.

She clutched the letter to her chest before reaching for her phone.

> **Rey’s iPhone**
> 
> Ben, you need to get over here NOW.

> **Ben**
> 
> What is it?
> 
> I have something interesting, too.

> **Rey’s iPhone**
> 
> Trust me, I win.
> 
> Please hurry home

She hit send before she knew what she had just said. The asylum wasn’t Ben’s home, and in  two short days, it would no longer be hers. Rey had let herself get so caught up in this mystery that she hadn’t even looked for other work, or places to live. Life had consisted of her normal duties, research, and the rest of her time was spent with Ben.

Fear at his reaction to her findings started to take over. What if it threw him completely and he no longer wanted to be with her? What if this destroyed his world, and she would only serve as a bitter reminder of the pain? Unintentionally, he had become her everything. She hadn’t told him yet, but she was deeply in love with him. If he called it off because of this, she’d be heartbroken. Rey shook her head and stood up, trying to dispel the dark thoughts. If Ben loved her even a fraction of the amount that she loved him, they could work through this.

She dusted herself off and brought the box carefully back inside, deciding she needed a shower. When Ben returned, she didn’t want to be covered in dirt and sweat. She was toweling off when she heard the front door open. The box was sitting on the kitchen table. _Shit_. She hurriedly dressed and rushed back out, but it was too late. Ben was sitting at the table reading the letter.

“Ben?”

When he looked up, there were tears in his eyes. _Shit_ . “Their baby was Anakin Skywalker, my _grandfather_?!”

She nodded and sat down next to him. “I recognized the family name, but I couldn’t be sure until you looked at it.”

“I’ve seen pictures of Shmi, who I thought was my great grandmother. This is her.”

“I- I don’t know what to say.”

Ben apparently didn’t either. Instead, he took a paper out of his briefcase and handed it to her. It was a drawing of a couple sitting at a restaurant booth. It was unmistakably Kira and Kylo; he had the scar down his face and everything. “Maz gave it to me. Her mother drew it. She remembered the day after we came in and went looking through her things.”

“Wow, this is-”

He looked over at her, eyes wide. “Are we them, Rey? Are we doomed to repeat the past? Because I don’t want to lose you, _ever_.” Ben’s hands reached out to touch her face. “Tell me this is real, and we’re not being possessed by two lovesick ghosts.”

“Ben,” she breathed, heart thumping wildly in her chest. She took one of his hands and placed it there. Then she put her hand over his heart. “What do you feel, here? Because I’m in love with you, and it’s the realest thing I’ve ever felt.”

He sighed, and his eyes started to water. “I love you, Rey. I know that’s real. I’m sorry,” he whispered, moving his hands up to her neck and kissing her. His hands found her hair, weaving his fingers through her still damp tresses. “I’m so in love with you, and it scares me.”

Her pupils were blown wide as she breathed, “Why?”

“Because I’ve never been in love before. I feel like I have something to lose now.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Ben.” She rose from her seat and straddled him on the chair, suddenly feeling there was too much space between them. Her hips bucked against his, feeling his ever hardening length beneath her. Yes, _this_ was real. Her tongue was deep into his mouth when his phone started ringing.

He groaned when he saw the caller ID. “It’s my uncle. I should take this.”

Rey nodded, but made no move to get off of him.

“Uncle Luke, hey! What’s… you did? Oh, great! Yeah, that’s um… sure, I guess so. Tonight?” He looked at Rey. “You want to come to Takodana? And bring my parents?”

Now nodding emphatically, Rey inadvertently brushed her heated center against his cock again, making him grimace and emit a strangled noise. ‘Sorry,’ she mouthed, a cheeky smile still present.

“Yeah, okay. We will meet you there. Bye.” He hung up and looked at her, raising an eyebrow. “You’ve been a very naughty girl.”

She wriggled against him more. “Mmm, yes I have. But what did your uncle want?”

“He found some stuff that belonged to Ben Kenobi and he wants to bring it. He also is bringing my parents, for some reason.”

“Ben Solo, are you introducing me to your parents?”

“I guess, but under duress.”

She laughed as he stood up with her body still wrapped around him and carried her to the bed, undressing her quickly. Her laughter soon turned into moaning as he kissed her crazy, working his full lips down her body. He paid special attention to her nipples, flicking them with his tongue and tweaking them till she was writhing beneath him, breath coming in ragged. When he breached her opening with a finger, she was nearly soaking. He toyed with her, thrusting shallowly and barely circling while not actually touching her clit. Rey whined from the lack of pressure.

“You know what naughty girls get?”

“Tell me,” she pleaded.

“Spankings.” The mischievous glint was back in his eye, but something told Rey this was all new to him, too. Still, the thought turned her on, so she turned over and pushed her ass up into the air, inviting his retribution for her earlier deviance. “Good girl. Now, how many do you think you deserve?”

“Three.” She had said sorry, after all.

“Okay. One.” He counted the first slap, stinging her cheeks and sending a jolt to her core. _Oh_. Okay, she liked this. He rubbed the skin soothingly before going again. “Two.” This one had a little more pressure, and Rey could feel herself growing wetter. Why had they never done this before? “Three.” The final smack had her crying out, and she nearly came from the shock it sent through her. Ben’s hand rubbed her back and forth, alleviating the sting.

“Oh god,” she moaned.

“Too much?” he asked.

“No, it was good. But Ben…”

“Yeah?”

“I need you to fuck me _right_ now.”

He wasted no time, shifting her hips upward as he found her folds again. “Holy shit, you weren’t kidding,” he mused as he withdrew his fingers.

Then she felt the head of him nudging at her entrance. She was so ready. “Please.”

He thrust in to the hilt with one fluid motion, her cunt eagerly anticipating him. Rey assumed he was just as keyed up as she was as his motions were rapid, messier than usual. His grunts filled the room as he fucked her into the mattress and she grabbed onto the sheets for dear life, the heat increasing and tingles working their way down her spine. It had never been like this before. The friction was too much as she felt him sliding in and out, filling her so good and hitting her so deep from this angle. She cried out as she came, her walls clenching tightly around him, forcing him to follow with a jolt. His release filled her, hot and sticky, and they fell into a tangled heap onto the bed. Rey realized as she tried to catch her breath, drenched in sweat with Ben’s spend leaking down her thighs, that she would probably need yet _another_ shower.

She turned over to face him, and he kissed her forehead. “I’m sorry I freaked out before. Loving you is the best thing I’ve ever done with my life.”

His words melted her insides; between that and the mind-blowing sex, Rey felt like she was one big puddle. She smoothed a lock of his dark hair back from his face. “I love you so much, Ben. There’s nothing you have to be scared about with me.”

 

* * *

 

Of course Ben’s relatives would want to meet at Maz’s. Of course his father would be roguishly handsome and have a past that involved some not-so-legal activities. And of course, Maz would give him shit for not coming by in nearly twenty years. Rey couldn’t help but giggle as Ben’s dysfunctional family argued and talked over each other while they waited for drinks. She loved his mother best.

Leia Organa gave Rey the warmest smile of anyone she’d ever met and quickly wrapped her in a pair of slender yet strong arms. She dwarfed the older woman by half a foot, but it didn’t feel like it. Her presence was larger than life. Han Solo, Ben’s father, was a scoundrel if she had ever met one. A lovable one, though, to be sure. Then there was Luke Skywalker, Ben’s uncle. She still wasn’t sure what to make of the taciturn bearded man. He had a cardboard box with him that he had yet to open. It was just as well, since Rey hadn’t shown them her metal box with the heavy revelations inside.

She tried to get a further read on everyone by the drinks Maz brought out: a white wine, which she handed to Leia, a can of PBR for Han, and something clear with a lime wedge for Luke.

“Gin and tonic?” she guessed.

“Club soda,” he corrected. “Six years sober, yesterday.”

“Oh. Congratulations?”

“Thank you. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t take pride in that accomplishment. Before I got sober, I was not the best person. I did a lot of things I regret. No one knows that better than Ben.”

Rey looked over at Ben and he was staying eerily silent, his mouth in a thin line. He clearly didn’t like talking about this.

Leia cleared her throat. “Right, so I believe there’s to be an exchanging of information?”

Luke shook his head, coming back to the present. “Yes, I found some of Ben Kenobi’s things in with dad’s old stuff. I must have thrown it in there when he passed. There’s a journal here that mentions Kira briefly, and I think some letters she sent to him while he was at war.”

Ben brightened up at this. “Oh, awesome!” He reached out to take the proffered box from his uncle.

“Now what did you have to tell us?” Leia looked at the two of them expectantly.

Rey and Ben looked at each other, anxiety written in their expressions. Rey finally said, “I think you should be the one to tell them, Ben.”

“Okay. So, I told you how Rey and I met,” he started, clearly unsure of how to drop this big news.

Han chimed in for the first time that evening, “Yeah, she works at the asylum…”

“Which is haunted,” Rey cut in.

Rolling his eyes, Han continued, “But Ben doesn’t believe in any of that metaphysical mumbo-jumbo.”

“That was before,” Ben said, clearly shocking each one of his relatives. Luke specifically looked intrigued. “Then I had some experiences there that changed my mind. Specifically, we began to uncover the story of a nurse named Kira Kenobi and a patient Kylo Ren.”

He nodded at Rey and she handed the pictures to Leia to look at first before passing around. “My god. They look just like the two of you. How is this possible?”

Rey added, “We’re not sure, but we dug deeper and found not only were the two of them deeply in love, they also had a child together.”

Ben handed the letter and the picture of baby Anakin with Shmi to Luke. “Holy shit. Dad always said he never knew his father and that his mom didn’t like talking about what had happened to him… I always just assumed he died or was a terrible person.” Tears started to form in his brilliant blue eyes and he put his hand over his mouth, handing the items to Leia.

“I wasn’t as close to Anakin as Luke was. You see we were raised by different families and he didn’t get in touch until we were already teenagers. Shmi was long dead by the time I even found out about all of this, but this is something… isn’t it?” She started twirling a lock of graying brown hair that had fallen out of her braid. “So you, what, communicated with these ghosts and it turns out they’re our grandparents?”

“Something like that,” Ben said.

Han let out a rather gruff, “Hunh…” before taking a swig of beer.

Luke was still staring at the letter. “So they never got to know him. It’s so sad.”

“Yeah, but at least now _you_ know.” Rey looked at him hopefully. “Listen, they’re tearing the whole place down the day after tomorrow. Would you guys like to come and see it? Just, I don’t know… pay your respects or whatever? Ben and I thought it might be nice.”

Han’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh so it’s ‘Ben and I’ already, is it?”

“Knock it off, _Dad_.”

Rey covered his hand with hers and shrugged it off. “I guess it is.”

Leia smiled wide. “We’d love to come see the facility tomorrow.”

 

* * *

 

“I think that went well,” Rey said as they snuggled in her bed together. Everything else that was hers in the small cottage had already been packed away into boxes. A local charity had been called to come pick up the furniture before they demolished her little abode. It would be the last thing to go, anyway.

“Yeah, it definitely could’ve gone worse.” Ben was nuzzling her neck, occasionally placing little kisses on her exposed shoulder.

“I’m glad they’ll get to come see it at least, especially the cemetery.” Turning over to face him, her eyes went wide as the finality of the moment set in.

“What’s wrong?”

“Everything!” She cried in his arms as the realization dawned on her. The day after tomorrow they would demolish this place. She didn’t know why it was affecting her this way; she had often thought about commandeering a wrecking ball and doing the job herself over the past couple years. But now, after all that had happened, Takodana held a special place in her heart.

She sniffed and nuzzled into Ben’s chest, his shirt already damp with her sadness. “Where will I live now?”

He smiled. Little did she know at the time that he had been planning to ask, but thought it too soon in their relationship. It was on Rey that she hadn’t lined up a new place to live. “What about with me?”

“What?” She wiped at her cheeks and peered up at him.

“Move in with me, Rey. I’m crazy about you, and I don’t want to do long distance. Besides, what did you think was going to happen with you having to be out of here in two days?”

Her eyes went wide, considering his momentous offer. It was soon, but she already knew she was in this for the long haul. Being with him felt like home. “Honestly? I had been so caught up in everything, I didn’t even think about it. I figured I could crash on someone’s couch if necessary.” Laughing, she realized how silly that seemed. “Okay, I’ll move in with you.”

“Great. You’re going to love Hanna City. There’s so much culture; I have no doubt you’ll find a job right away.”

 

* * *

 

Ben’s family arrived early the next day to take a tour of the grounds before it was all gone for good. Rey lovingly showed them around the buildings, and the cemetery, ending at her cottage. She even showed them the clearing where she had found the metal box containing the letter and pictures. She left out the part about Ben giving her oral on the bench.

When they left, hugs were exchanged all around, and Rey felt herself already accepted into the family. “Come visit anytime,” Leia urged her. “We’re only a couple hours drive away from Ben.”

She assured them they would, and then they were off. Ben slid an arm around her as they walked over to his car. “Well, they sure love you.”

“I’m glad.”

“Me too. You’re the perfect buffer for my crazy family. Maybe I won’t dread family functions as much now.”

Rey just laughed and got in the passenger seat. They were exchanging Ben’s compact rental for a van so she could fit all her boxes inside when they set off the next day. After, they enjoyed a leisurely stroll through town and dinner at the new Thai place. The curry tasted much better when you weren’t looking over your shoulder for ghosts. Finn and Poe joined them for drinks after and marveled at how the story turned out.

“Dude, does it bother you that the girl you’re boinking looks just like your great grandmother?” Finn elbowed his boyfriend. They had all had a few by this point in the evening. Rey just rolled her eyes.

Ben, much to their chagrin, shrugged. “Should it? I look just like my great grandfather, so it fits. Besides, Rey is much prettier than Kira.”

“Aww. Thanks, babe.” She leaned over and kissed him.

“Yeah, okay. The PDA is even weirder now.” Finn said as he finished off his drink. “Another round?”

“No, I think we’d better head back. Have to get up early and load up the van with all of Rey’s shit.

“I still can’t believe you’re leaving us.” Finn looked as if he might cry.

“I’ll still visit. And you guys can come to Hanna City, too! There’s loads of haunted places that you can investigate.”

Poe clinked his glass with hers. “Well, that sound like a plan.”

 

* * *

 

Ben loaded the last box into the van just as the wrecking ball took its first swing into the massive building. Rey watched as the bulldozers and crane started to take apart the place she had called home for the past two years. She felt herself get a little misty and thought she might be losing it right now if it weren’t for the pillar of strength by her side. She slipped her hand into Ben’s, threading their fingers together. She just needed physical assurance right now.

Ben squinted, the bright morning sun casting a glare on his glasses. He was so proud of Rey, and all she had discovered in the past few weeks. He never would have thought something like this could have happened, but he finally had found the belonging he’d always sought deep down. He felt at peace for the first time in years.

A breeze curled tendrils of Rey’s hair away from her face, and she turned her head to lean into the airflow. A glimmer off one of the small memorial stones of the asylum’s graveyard caught her attention. There were no names there, but she knew both Kira and Kylo must be laid to rest beneath the earth, among the hundreds of other nameless bodies from the sanatorium’s long, dark history. She knew now that they had found each other in the afterlife and could be together once more. For her part, she was thankful for their experience, if only because of how it tied into her destiny in ways she would never have imagined. She was in love with their great grandson, and so in a way, she owed them everything.

“Come on,” Ben said, pulling her by the hand.

She followed him to the van as he opened the door for her. Rey sat inside and felt as if she were on the precipice of something large.

“So, where to?” He asked with a wink.

She smiled up at him. “Let’s go home, Ben.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you also to [uh_no_thanks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/uh_no_thanks/pseuds/uh_no_thanks) for this GORGEOUS [calligraphy/art](https://twitter.com/UhNoThanksAnya/status/1085041227387437056)!  
> 
> 
> I am so grateful to everyone who read and enjoyed this story! <3

**Author's Note:**

> I am expecting twice weekly updates for this until it's all posted: Tuesdays and Fridays.


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